Hidden

Deserving

Him

"F*cker!" Jake just came by and punched me by the face. Ed and Trevor wanted to fight back, but I stopped them. 

"What is wrong with you?!" I asked as if I'm calm, but I'm not.

"Y-you!" he pointed me. "You know the reason, you scumbag." Jake said. His eyes were swollen red.

I stop there and think. Did she break up with him? "Say, Georgina." that made him even mad and aimed for my cheeks, but I fight back. "You deserve that, Jake."

"It was just the homecoming and now you stealin' her?! From me?!"

"Jake, I didn't steal her from you." I sighed. "You made her leave."

"I don't believe that." he muttered, his hands ready to punch me again.

"This scumbag didn't get it, " Ed whispered. "Really, Jake? You think she's staying 'coz your handsome? Boy, NO."

Trevor tried to suppress a laugh. "Ain't anyone like him knows how to take care of his girl?"

"How many times have you cheated on her?" I asked him. Jake's expression softens. "You lost count?"

He gritted his teeth. "I will come back at you, Clarkson." the bell rang.

I had to go to the clinic and lie to the nurse so that this little cut had to be patched up. And maybe add excuses from Georgina --- wait, that won't be of any use.

Her  

Flashback

"Jake?" I mustered all my strength, confidence and the pain to do this.

"Georgina." he smiles the same. But this time, it doesn't feel the same again. No collywobbles. 

The spring break made me think the difference between the memory and in the reality. He was sweet back then, in my memory. I wanted to keep them, but if I stay, the memories of how sweet he was would be bitter.

"I want to talk to you." I told him. Before he could offer me to get inside his house, "Maybe we could talk somewhere else? I wanna grab some lunch."

"Sure, I'd love that." he maybe thinks this one is a date. But no, it isn't. "I missed going out on a date with you."

I smiled in response. This one is the last one, Jake.

I used my own car and so did he. He even asked why, I just gave him a shrug.

* * * * * * * * *

"Here it is! Your favorites!" he exclaimed as he placed down the tray with our food. He seemed so happy having me here and I feel guilty that his smile will fade away if I tell him what we are going to talk about. He took a seat and started eating the fries. "I'm happy you still wanna take dates with me even--"

"We need to break up." I said in a straight face. But the truth is, I'm about to crumble down.

"Ge--"

"We really need to break up." I say it again. "I don't wanna say it again, Jake."

"B-but why?"

"I-I'm tired." Of being cheated on. If I stayed with him and make my feelings flow for Clarkson, there's no difference between us - still, I'm cheating.

"Is it Clarkson?" he asked. 

I wanted to shrink in or just leave him out in this scene, but my body betrayed me. "It's not him."

I wanted to tell him how tired I am and that I am falling out of this thing--

"I need to go then." he stood up with his eyes like fire.

"I--Jake! It's not Clarkson, it's you."

"H-how could it be me?"

I wanted to mumble the words of why I need to leave him, but they seem to fall off. My tears just fell down-- is it guilt or just the pain of leaving all those memories with him? 

"--I need to go!" I tried to hold his arm stop him, but it was no prevail. I just wiped my tears and sit there.

- - - - - - - - -

Clarkson had a cut in his mouth. Jake. I could internally face palm knowing that the cause of this is me. I draw myself nearer to him and tried to reach out.  He flinched in my touch and held my hand.

"I'm fine, don't worry." he said, anticipating the question I was about to ask. "I'm fine." he reassured me.

"Clarkson --- Jake and I--"

"You guys broke up?"

"I broke up with him." I answered. Because I fell out of love. I fell in love with you. 

He smiled at me.  "You left him? For good?" He bit his lower lip. "I am so happy for you." He opened his arms and pulled me into his embrace.

It was warm and home.

I suddenly burst into tears as his warmth engulfed me. I think I needed this for the long time.