Peter Parker Oneshots

Worthless

Tony is Peters biological father. Peter is depressed. (Song is 'Worthless' by Eli)

Ship: None.

3rd person POV

Peter sits on the bathroom floor, crying. In his shaking hand is a razor, covered in blood. His blood. He never wanted to die as much as he did now. 

 But it's not like he could talk to anybody without them judging him. He didn't want to be viewed as weak. He just wanted somebody to hug him and say 'Its going to get better'.  

So he would sometimes cope using music, there was nothing better than being alone with music. Music says things words can't. Music can mean so many different things at once, its almost magical. 

"H-hey FRI? Is there a piano somewhere here?" Peter chokes out.

"Yes, just down the hall. Peter, you have 17 self-inflicted wounds, you're losing a lot of blood and you seem to be in distress. Would you like me to call Mr. Stark?" Replies the A.I with as much concern a A.I can have. 

"No, I'm good. I'll be okay." Peter lets out a sob and starts washing the blood. Tears continue to stream down his flushed face as he wraps bandages tightly around the cuts. Staring into the mirror, he pulls down his hoodies sleeves and wipes his tears, hoping to get rid of any evidence of him crying. 

He knew his Dad was in a meeting, so he wouldn't have to worry about being caught. 

He leaves his room, tears threatening to come pouring out again. Quickly rushing down the hall, he opens a door to reveal a small room, a white piano placed in the middle. He smiles to himself and enters the room. 

He sits on the bench and lays his fingers on the keys. He loved how they felt welcoming and homey at the same time. 

He begins lightly pressing the keys, he doesn't know what hes playing, he just is. 

I'm always so alone, even when surrounded by people that I know. I'm always so astounded by my ability to ruin everything. Losing friends and starting fires. Everyone thinks I'm a liar.

He remembers one day waking up one day and feeling so alone. The worst part is, he's been alone ever since. He's constantly reminded how much of a failure by all the Avengers, literally everybody at school and sometimes his own father. Ned and MJ decided they were better off without Peter, so they left him. He's tried talking to people about his depression, they never believed him. 

I always stay at home ,'cause I'm not good in public. I sit here on my phone, I'm always disappointed as I watch them live their lives. I wish that I were happy. Victim of my generation, time machines cannot erase it. 

The public had clearly been disappointed when the only son of Tony Stark had turned out a huge, gay nerd. So eventually he stopped going out in public. He watches as everybody around him living their best lives while he's stuck in a endless loop of self-hatred. People just label his depression as 'normal teenage things'. 

Who am I supposed to be? When will I be complete? When will they be proud of me? It's getting harder to see. 

When Tony had heard beautiful music playing, he immediately had to see who was playing it. He was shocked when he saw Peter, his Peter, playing piano with the occasional tear rolling down his cheek. Tony stood in the doorway, with Peter still not noticing his presence. 

Slit my wrists, bloody fists. Questioning why I exist. Pain persists, evil gifts, fucking up my life to shit. I'm worthless, I'm worthless, I'm worthless, slit my wrists until I bleed out. 

Peter hated himself so much. He believed that there was not a single good thing about him. He believed he deserved all the pain that came his way. He believed he was worthless. 

I try to stay strong. No matter what I do, I'm always in the wrong. It never gets easier but maybe that's the point. It's part of growing up, messing up and learning from it. That's just life, it's necessary. 

Peter always was somehow blamed for everything. Oh, Flash punched him and called him a 'faggot'? Its Peters fault because he was standing there, practically begging to be hit. The team blamed him for fucking up a mission? Its Peters fault because hes the 'weakest'. 

Peter used to be happy, but that was when he was younger and reality didn't matter. As he grew up, he realised life isn't all unicorns and rainbows. Its full of people. People that will judge you for anything and everything. People that will bully you because they're mad at themselves.

Peter let his hands fall on his lap. He was full on sobbing now. He held his head low and pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, hugging them to his chest. 

Tony ran over to behind Peter and gave him the biggest hug he possibly could. 

"Oh my Bambi...who hurt you?" Tony whispers in a sad voice. Peter chokes on a sob and looks up at his Dad. 

"Everybody. Dad, they're so mean. I don't wanna be here anymore, I wanna go. I want to leave. Dad, I just wanna die and get it over with." Peter getting more and more quiet towards the end, burying his face in his knees. 

Tony couldn't believe what Peter had just said. His Peter, the one that always smiled and laughed, the one that always had a bubbly personality. The one that brightened up a whole room the second he would enter. Had just said he wanted to die. 

Tony tightened his arms around Peter. "I'm so sorry Pete. I'm going to help you get through this, I'll make sure nobody ever hurts you again."

Peter nods. He finally has a reason to try. 

xoxo ⛓️