Maybe It Was Just A Movie

~4~

Luna didn't contact her best friend next morning as she had planed, no she didn't contact anyone next morning. After she had cried in the shower for about an hour, trying to get this disgusting feeling off of her, everything seemed dull, her hair wasn't it's usual viberant golden color, her green eyes looked empty, make-up was smeared all over her cheeks and marks stained her body, she felt worthless, weak and pathetic, what would people think of her if they knew? They would look at her with worry, pitty and maybe even disgust, nobody could know that this ever happened. She had to be strong and show that she could protect herself in the harsh world of Hollywood, directors wouldn't take her serious if she joined the #METOO movement, she would never be hired for her talent again, her name wouldn't make people think of her work but it would remind them of how weak she was.

After her shower, she dried of her still aching body and she made sure that every bruise was covered as well as her pale looking skin and the dark circles around her eyes, she got into her car and drove to the store like nothing ever happened. She got multipule cleaning products and some other groceries: a  whole wheat bread, a carton of yoghurt and some raspberries to make it less suspicious. Next to the cashregister was a large kiosk with gossip magazines, that was the first blow, she swallowed the lump in her sore throat, smiled and payed for her groceries. Camera flashes went off once she stepped outside the store, the second blow, this blow was even harder to stomach. Again she smiled, said hi to all of the press people and walked towards her car. She couldn't cry here, that would make people ask questions and she didn't want to answer those questions.

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As soon as she got home, Luna broke down, started crying and run towards the bathroom, her already sore body protested but dry heaved non the less. She stepped into the shower again and applied make-up afterwards. She started cleaning her appartment as a maniac, every surface had to be undone of the horrible events that transpired last night.

Completly exhausted of all the cleaning, stress and body ache, she decided to go sit on her balcony as she couldn't get herself to lie down on either her cauch or her bed. She turned on her phone for the first time that day, and it immediately blew up with happy messages from Lola asking about her date last night, her mom asking when she would get to meet her daughters new man and her brother asking who the f*ckface was and when they could have a little chit chat bout what would happen if he did something wrong. They couldnt' know, they would give up their own life to help Luna and she didn't want that for them. She decided to first text her mom and brother to make them stop worrying. She knew Lola wouldn't be satisfied with just a text, but talking about last nights events would be unbearable for Luna, she decided on a voice message eventhough Lola would probably still call for more details. at least now she could practice the red line of her story without breaking down.

"Hey Lola, I.."

Nope, delete,

"Heyy, last night was fun, we uh"

No, again,

"yeah so about last night"

Take a deep breath and try again,

"Hey Lola, decided that this was easier than texting, so yeah we had lots of fun last night, he took me to a very nice restaurant, food was deliciaus, it was Italian, you would have loved it"

Send, deep breath, don't break down, you have to be strong,

"We talked a lot, he's an intresting person, very clever and humble. After dinner he took me to a fairy like park and we sat there for some time, it was so cute."

Almost there, keep it up, don't be as weak as you were last night,

"So yeah after he brought me home and he said he would walk me to the doorstep but we passed that treshold obviously...."

Did that laugh sound fake? Was it to much? She said something about her hair last night, I should bring that up, that would make it less weird, I hope...

"But I don't think it will be more than last night, I just hope it won't be awkward on set tho. We should def meet up somewhere this week, we start filming this week so I don't exactly know at what time i finish so maybe lunch break is better, lemme know, oh and you still have to tell me all about your new idea for your hair. I love you"

Well that's that, I hope she buys it and won't reply all to soon. She walked inside and Luna's thoughts then focussed the now smelling of lemon and bleach apartment, it still smelled like him, she saw him, heard him and felt him everwhere. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep here tonight, maybe she couldn't sleep here ever again. Maybe she should sell the appartment, but people would ask questions, for now she would hire professional cleaners. She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and cringed, she looked pale and empty.

She unlocked her phone again, smiled the best best smile she could muster to herself in the mirror and clicked on her moms phone number, it dailed once, twice, almosted three times before her moms voice said a very cheerful greeting, even after all these years of trying to copy the southern accent, her mom still had a Dutch undertone in her English, maybe it was because her mom talked in her own language with Luna and her older brother Mason most of the time or maybe not, maybe just because she wasn't capable of losing the accent.

"Hey mama, I'm fine and how are you doing?"

"Goed, goed, how's your man doing tho?" {Good, good, ...}

"He's not my man, mama. He's my co-worker, it was just a one time thing."

"Oh okay, what a shame, you don't sound to happy by the way, what's wrong?"

"My appartment needs to be cleaned, carpets, curtains and the cauch and stuff you know? I wanted to ask if i can stay at your and dads house outside of LA for some time, because it would stress full than having the cleaning people over at the already little time I spend at my appartment, you know?"

"Of course you can, Dad, your brother and I are staying there too right now, just so you know. I love having you home you know that right?"

"Yes mama, I love being home with you guys too. Waarom is Mason niet in college tho?" {Why isn't Mason in college tho?}

"Oh he took al little break, he didnt have many classes and fall break is nearing so he's finishing his last assignments with papa's help, luiwammes" {.......papa's help, lazy ass}

"Okay ik ben er iets voor het avondeten, als dat goed is?" {Okay I'll be there some time close to dinner, if that's alright with you?}

"Natuurlijk Luna, je bent altijd welkom in je eigen huis, I miss having my babys home." {Of course Luna, you're always welcome in your own house. ...}

"I don't live there anymore mama."

"I know but it will always be your home if you can't find home somewhere else, okay?"

Tears welled up in Lunas eyes, it was time to hang up otherwise her mom would see right through her facade.

"Okay mama, tot snel, hou van je!" {Okay mama, see you soon, love you!}

"Dag Luna, ik hou ook van jou" {Bye Luna, I love you too}

Mutering up another fake smile, she checked her make-up and left the bathroom, enough with the pitty party, it was my own fault. It was my own fault, weak, disgusting, whore, Luna could already see the headlines, no one could ever hear about it. She started packing her bags, it was three p.m. by now, luckily Lola was most likely still at work and wouldn't reply for another two hours and around the same time she would be arriving at her parents house, two more hours before she had to put the mask up again, she decided to take a detour to her parents house, just a little more time before i have to give a clearer explantation of last night.

One last look in the mirror, sunglasses with her, making a quick instagram story like she would do normally, nothing is wrong, nothing happened, I was weak, I have to be proffesional about it, I'm alright, no one will ever know. And with those words in the back of her mind, she walked down the same stairs that let to her doom last night, don't break, don't be weak, she got into her car and drove off, taking the longest route possible towards confrontation.