Flatline

maybe one day you'll find humanity

They were about to enter the courtroom when Hayley froze. She realised what was about to happen, only now processing it. She'd be in the same room as him. She'd have to talk in front of him and hear him talk. The panic rushed through her body, only amplifying when she realised she could see him looking over. Waiting for her.

"No. No no no. I can't do this. I can't," Taylor noticed Lukas' eyes light up when he heard her voice. It took everything in him to restrain himself from walking over and punching him.

"You can, Hayley. You're so strong, look how far you've come already—"

"No, you don't understand. Everytime I look at him I just see—I see myself back in that room and..." she pulled her hair back, letting out a sigh. "It's bad enough already, and now I have to watch him tell all those people it was my fault?" The police officer accompanying them put his hand on her arm, making her immediately tense up.

"I know it's hard, but think about all the girls he raped before you. You're not just doing this for you, you're doing this for those four girls, and you're protecting the people he could meet in the future and hurt. It's for a greater good," she sighed again, pressing herself back into the wall, then nodded and began walking again. Her nails sunk into her palm as she walked to the table with his eyes on her.

—

It was the part they were all most dreading — even more so than Hayley having to explain that night.

"Mr Rivera, you and Hayley both drunk a lot of alcohol that night, is that correct?" Lukas nodded. "And throughout the night, leading up to the events in the bedroom, did Hayley show any discomfort with you in any way?" He cleared his throat quietly.

"No. She was even sat on my lap for at least an hour," his eyes flicked to Hayley because she couldn't deny that he was currently telling the truth — but how was she to know he would change so suddenly?

"So what did you do when she started resisting you?"

"I stopped and asked if she was okay. She said yes, so I carried on." Hayley couldn't look up from the table because she was so angered by his blatant lies. She knew it was going to come down to her word against his, and she felt the odds weren't in her favour.

"The next day you went to her house. Tell me what happened,"

"I knocked and no one answered, so I went in, using the key she gave me. I wanted to check up on her because she usually would've stayed at mine. I couldn't find her downstairs, so I went up and she was standing outside her bedroom door. She told me that we needed to talk so we went downstairs and she said she wanted to end things. I was confused and...honestly really upset so I asked her why and she said nothing about the party. She just said that she wasn't ready for a real relationship and wanted to end things before it could do any damage. I didn't say anything, gathered my things and left. She seemed fine," she knew he knew this wasn't true as well. He had asked her what was wrong. There was no way that meant 'okay'.

"Still, no signs of distress? Sadness? Stress?" Hayley gently dabbed at the tears that were falling, trying to stop them.

"Nope. Nothing,"

Her eyes switched to Lukas. He was very obviously feeling confident in his lies, which made her tip over the edge. A tear spilled from her eye as she forced her eyes to look down. Why is he doing this to me?

"No further questions," she immediately stood up and walked out of the courtroom, Taylor following behind. Zac would've gone too, but he was supposed to testify next.

Taylor sat down next to her and put his arm around her. She leaned into the touch, mascara filled tears ruining the corner of his shirt and under her eyes. Taylor's heart ached to be able to comfort her with the same amount of love and sincerity as before, and although he loved her no less, it wasn't appropriate now they weren't dating.

They stayed that way until Zac was finished and came out to join them, where they shared a moment of eye contact that screamed that they still loved each other.

"Those lawyers are brutal," he tried to laugh a little but no one smiled.  The officers we had been with for the last week came out of the courtroom too.

"It's looking good on our side. Zac's testimony was really helpful," Zac felt a sense of relief that he was helping, but he also felt terrible. Through the many many years he and Hayley had been friends, he had never seen her quite this broken.

"We should get pizza after this," Zac suggested, remembering his old ways for Taylor. Hayley's appetite had been fluctuating between eating as much as she could and almost nothing. The sick feeling currently in her stomach didn't indicate she was hungry, so shook her head.

"I know this is rough, but please don't shut us out," Hayley felt some level of anger and disbelief that of all people, it was Taylor saying it to her. She stood and began to walk away, knowing if she were to stay any longer, she may scream at him.

"Hayley please. We can help—"

"You can't say shit about shutting people out," her tone was so harsh that some heads turned to look at her. Her mind went back to all of her pain caused from shutting things out. Taylor shutting his friends out, Hayley shutting her feelings out. She honestly didn't know how to cope with anything at this point.

"Lay off him, he's just trying to help," Zac said.

"Well dont. There's nothing you can do because you have no idea what I'm—" she cut herself off, seeing the courtroom doors open, then Lukas emerging. She held her breath and waited for them to turn the other way, but instead, came towards her. Taylor stood in front of her, taking her hand to let her know she was safe. Hayley's eyes froze into Lukas', who was watching her relive what he put her through.

The memories became much more intense as he got closer, so her eyes dropped to the floor, right up until he had turned the corner and was out of sight.

"Are you okay?" Zac asked. She stumbled on her words before getting them out coherently.

"I need some air," she breathed out, walking out the doors. She sat quietly on the steps, watching people walk past. She was angry that everyone walking by got to live in the bliss of not having experienced this. She was angry that Lukas deserved to be punished yet she was the one suffering. None of it made sense to her.