Flatline

when i hit the bottom

Taylor's head became fuzzier and clouded as the days melted together. A constant cycle of pain that only deepened as he refused his hunger any satisfaction. His stomach would continuously scream at him to eat something, but the well deserved (in his mind) pain he was experiencing was like euphoria compared to the pit of nothingness he felt before.

When Friday rolled around, it took him at least 30 minutes to build up the energy to get downstairs to Zac, who could immediately tell something was wrong. Well, something had been wrong for months now, but Taylor hadn't spoken of it. The way Taylor was moving so groggily, how his face was so pale, Zac was afraid to leave Taylor alone, so he didn't leave when he usually did. He stayed, and it was a good job he did, because once Taylor made it back upstairs, he collapsed to the floor and passed out.

—

"Zac what the fuck is going on? Why are all our friends messaging me and asking me why an ambulance was at Taylor's?" Hayley was panicking. She was petrified Taylor had hurt himself, and was now pacing in her bedroom.

"Babe, what's wrong?" She stared at the person laying in her bed. He had completely slipped her mind.

"Uh—I just—I—" she stopped trying to speak and went back to the phone. "Call me back," she slammed the phone down on her dresser and struggled to hold back the incoming wave of tears.

"Hey, it's okay...tell me what happened," He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her, leaving Hayley to wish it was Taylor. She had met him a week ago at a concert and connected instantly. Every night that week they had gone to a different concerts then back to one of their houses to have sex, then sleep. It had came as a surprise to Hayley that she was able to get so close to someone so quickly, but she needed the comfort.

"I need to go," she said breathlessly, pulling on some clothes and running out to her car. She tried Zac again, but there was nothing. This only raised her panic. Once she arrived at Taylor's, she saw Zac carrying some of Taylor's things into his car.

"Zac! Zac—what's going on? Is Taylor okay?" She asked, barely being able to catch her breath. Zac could see she was shaken with fear, but he barely had any idea why Taylor had fainted either.

"I dont know," he said simply, placing Taylor's things into the back of his car.

"Did he hurt himself?" Zac froze and looked at Hayley.

"I don't know, but even if I did, why the fuck would you care?" He asked bitterly.

"He's still my friend—"

"He's been hurting for months and you've done nothing."

"I was hurt," her tears finally bubbled over and dripped down her cheeks.

"Well he needed you there. It's not always about you," he got into his car and Hayley jumped in the passenger side before he drove away. Maybe it was an overreaction, but Zac had no idea why Taylor had passed out. His worst fear was that he had taken something — pills, drugs, whatever — and he didn't know.

Once they arrived, Hayley followed Zac through the hospital to where Taylor's room was. He had woken up since fainting the previous day, but was on a feeding tube to bring his blood sugars back up to a healthy rate. Zac should've brought Taylor some clothes the night before, but he wanted to make sure Taylor wouldn't be waking up alone, so when Taylor woke up in the early hours of Saturday morning, Zac managed to stay with him, despite people telling him he needed to leave.

Hayley slowed down as she approached his door. She couldn't imagine he wanted to see her, but she had to know he was okay. The doctor was standing and talking at Taylor, him not really listening. He stared at hayley instead, who had started to regret coming.

I've seen him. He's alive. He's okay.

She honestly just couldn't bring herself to go in, so she left. She ran back to her house, hoping to take her mind away from it all as she was so used to doing, while Zac stayed and lectured Taylor about the importance of eating.

Every moment of time that passed, the numbness was returning to Taylor, and as these moments passed, he couldn't help but dream of getting out of hospital and repeating exactly what he'd done in the last week. Anything just to feel again.