When I wake the next morning, I sit up and find myself to be the first in my dorm to be awake. I look to the small clock on my bedside table and see that it is way too early for me to be up yet, there's two hours until breakfast and the cold weather outside makes my bed seem too comforting to leave. I put my glasses on and run my hands over my braids from last night, swinging my legs out from under the thick quilt my mother made for me, the shock of the cold air making me want to throw it back on again. I wish I could fall back asleep and relax, but I know that in this kind of weather, if I do go back to bed, I won't be up for hours.
I decide it's in my best interest to just get up, no matter the time. I pick my hair out of my braids and pull on a thick sweater and my gumboots, deciding that if I have to be up, I may as well go out.
The North Stairwell is clear of supervisors as always, so I pad down the stairs quickly to get outside. I decide I want to walk around the edge of the Forbidden Forest, I've always loved it there, especially in the early morning and at dusk. Similar to my father, I've always felt a strong connection to trees and flora, I can only imagine how he would love the scenery of Hogwarts. I think that's the hardest part about being a half-blood, only being able to share these firsthand experiences with my mother even though I know my father would adore everything about this place.
I stumble down the last few steps, and go to open the door which, to my surprise, is locked. What on earth? I sigh and being the long journey back up the stairs. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by these changes since we've returned for this new semester, as last ended with such a horrible revelation from Harry about the apparent return of the Dark Lord, there's no doubt the school would be tightening restrictions like these.
Ever since that dreaded night, even if it's not at the forefront of my mind, a pit of fear and unease sits in my stomach at all times. And if it's not prompted by the Dark Lord, it's because of Draco. Gosh, I have no clue whether or not I was seen by him and Pansy, but I have an inclining I might have been. This awkward revelation I had last night is plaguing my mind this morning, making me dread today's potions class, yet again as partners.
It baffles me how he could have been so much warmer last time, and especially on the bridge and even his playfulness in the library before the last challenge of the Tri-Wizard tournament, and then turn around and have this flipped side or confusion and mixed signals, as well as his sly side comments about my reputation. The essence of Draco Malfoy is dangerously confusing and impossible to comprehend yet, somehow, I am drawn to him in a way can't describe. He haunts me.
When I get back to Slytherin, I am fully awake and so are my roommates who comment on my early start. I take a warm shower and get into my uniform, heading up to breakfast. Hermione, Ron, and Harry invite me to sit with them at the Gryffindor table, which I agree to. We sit and talk for a while about classes until Harry starts to wince and excuses himself before darting off out of the great hall.
"That's the third time this week he hasn't stayed throughout breakfast," Hermione notices. She looks disgustedly at Ron who is shovelling bits of toast in his mouth while turning pages of a book, rolling her eyes at his lack of awareness of his surroundings. She nudges him and gives him a stern look.
"What was that for?" he yelps.
"Haven't you had the slightest clue the past few days? Harry's been acting weird and distant lately, and I don't know why," she explains.
"Well there's a first," he says under his breath. I kick him under the table for being rude, raising my eyebrows at him. He groans before looking over my shoulder and leaning in across the table to me. "I think someone's got their eyes on you," he nods in the direction of the Slytherin table. I sigh and shift uncomfortably. As much as I tried to ignore it, there was no doubt that I could feel a pair of sharp, grey eyes boring into the back of me. I shrug it off and ignore it, smiling tightly at Ron and Hermione who by now, has caught on.
I push down the feeling in my stomach and continue through classes, focusing intently to try and drown out the feeling of unease and the nerves which ache with my every breath. That is, until we get to potions.
This time, I ensure I am ready and prepared, arriving earlier than usual to be the first seated, so that Draco at least doesn't have that advantage over me. However, when I arrive, I find that I am completely wrong.
The huge wooden doors slam closed as I attempt to sneak in, startling both Draco and Professor Snape who seem to be in hushed conversation by the huge oak desk at the front of the classroom. Their heads snap up and eyes meet mine, somewhat panicked but mostly from the shock.
"Oh, I'm too early, I'm so sorry," I start, turning to leave until class begins. I blush deeply, this moment could not be any more embarrassing.
"Take your seat, Miss Good, Malfoy and I were just discussing arrangements for our next project," he drawls slowly, causing chills to run through me. I rush to my seat and moments later, the other students begin to pour in but as they do, I can't seem to shake the embarrassment from walking in on a private conversation with Draco. He chats to a friend or two before we begin, then taking his seat next to me, leaning over to whisper in my ear.
"Seems you have a knack for walking in on things you shouldn't, Good. Best not make it a habit," he whispers, sending chills down my spine. I choose not to respond to him, keeping my eyes faced to the front before Snape begins the lesson.
He drags on for a while I take vigorous notes, never once looking over at my partner. As the lesson draws to a close, the Professor begins explaining our next project which I perk up to listen to.
"Of course, the objects and ingredients of potion making are not always at constant disposal. Should you ever need to make a potion, the ingredients must be sourced on your own accord hence your next assignment. You and your partner will have until next class in three days to bring a sample of a moondew flower for our practical lesson in making a Wiggenweld potion. Source this from wherever you can, but I compel you to not fair too far from campus which you will face consequences for. And please, keep them alive until then." He finishes, snapping his textbook shut and sweeping through the desks and out of the classroom, leaving us all dismissed.
As I begin scribbling down the instructions we've been given, I realise this calls for me and Draco to spend time together outside of classes and exploring the grounds of Hogwarts.
"Looks like we're going exploring, Good. Meet me by the bottom of the North Stairwell at 4:30, its always unlocked," he says, speaking in the forceful manner he always does, compelling me to meet his eyes.
"Sure," I shrug in an attempt to seen careless and unfazed. He smirks and walks away.
How I am going to cope with this I have no idea.
YOU ARE READING
Want To Be (d.m.)
Fanfiction"I couldn't tell you what it is, and I couldn't even begin to try and explain it, but there's something that's changed in me since you, that makes me want to be different. That makes me feel different and makes me feel like I want things I never hav...
