Through Weathered Eyes

32

You said that you wish me all the best. But for some reason, it just hasn't sit right with me.

I'm struggling to understand how you can wish me the best when you always refused to give me yours.

I'm struggling to understand what your perspective of the best actually is because on one hand, you held me to expectations that were beyond my capabilities. And on the other hand, you couldn't be bothered to try.

At the end of the day, I gave you my best. I certainly have my shortcomings, but I'll be damned if I didn't try. Maybe you're blind, or maybe you just consciously closed your eyes.

But I guess one's best cannot equate to another's, and that's okay. I've always gone out of my way to respect you anyway.

I'm probably just overthinking it, but that's always been my Modus Operandi. You asked me to save you, but swimming in resentment, you neglected me.

Another added to the list, too much and not enough all at the same time. I can't sit and reminisce, I've got to focus on and do what is right.

You wished me the best, but I've got to do better. You left me in unrest, but it's now a dead letter.

I have to accept that I am enough. I have to accept that I am loved. I have to accept that I had my faults. I have to accept that I gave it my all. I have to accept that even the strongest can fall. I have to accept that I will continue to grow. I have to accept that I am powerful on my own.

These eyes may be weathered, but I can still sometimes see the value in myself. This body may be tired, but I can still wake up with two feet on the ground. This spirit may be damaged, but it can never be fully broken. This heart may have spilled blood, but it will still choose to always spread love.

You wish me the best, and I wish you too. As for all the rest, we'll just do what we do.

-D.O.