Nightmares

Chapter 2.

****Warning: Depictions of an almost rape scene ahead. ***

I woke up...late again just that this time I wasn't worried about going to school and getting an earful from my teachers but rather waking up into the new world without my comfort zone, which is high school. I gave out a loud deep sigh and closed my eyes again. I must have slept through yesterday, I at least deserved it after not having a good amount of sleep for about a week now. Sometimes all ever wanna do is just lay down and smile as I recount sweet dreams of me in a field of flowers probably on a mountain but of course, my dreams were nothing to write home about.

Surprisingly, the sun's rays which usually would be scorching me cheeks like I was the one that forced it to come outta the skies were now a gentle caress. It was warm and comforting and I could get used to that feeling, it was kind of ecstatic. I didn't want to sleep as you know the obvious, I just wanted to lay there and think about my future plans. Right at that moment, I had no intention of going to college or university, yep I wasn't going.

Maybe I just love my mom too much or I'm just scared of being like my brother, leaving and not finding the courage to come back again. I will just pick up the former, seriously I just love my mom and my little sister in her belly too much to leave them. I would just drown in guilt if I left them here. Or maybe...just maybe, the fears, the feeling of loneliness had enveloped and consumed me so much that the thought of leaving this town, this wretched house where I at least had someone who cared about me, was crippling and bone-shaking enough for me to give up my dreams of ever leaving this town.

I opened my eyes to a little poke on my nose and found mom's little finger mid-air obviously about to poke me again.

"Mom" I groaned and turned to my side facing her "I'm not a little kid"

"Oh, really? Blaming a mom for waking her son up?" she gasped dramatically and pouted way more dramatically.

I mumbled 'whatever' and got up from my bed. It was moments like these that still gave me hope that all was not lost. I moved closer to my windows and sat down on the floor, the room falling into silence.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there at your graduation" Mom's sad voice cut through the air

"There she goes again" I mumbled and took in a deep breath. The nerve for her to feel guilty when she as heavily pregnant and had been advised to not do anything strenuous. Besides, I didn't want her there anyways, it would have reminded her of a lot of unnecessary things.

"Don't worry, it's okay" I faced her and smiled "I didn't want my baby sister around those kids at school with no manners" I joked and we burst into laughter.

"Now that was one solid good point" Mom laughed again. Good, it worked. I gave myself a mental Pat on my shoulders as her eyes gradually returned to their usual happy shine "So since I wasn't there I got some, you know , a little surprise for you" she sing songed and flipped her hair without using her fingers. I gave her a seriously look which she scoffed at.

"Uh-huh I love surprises" I said in a low tone with a wiggle from my eyebrows and stood up to follow mom as she lead me into the kitchen. I sat on my favorite stool as mom tied a white cloth over my eyes.

I waited for what seemed like forever and then mom removed the cloth and told me to open my eyes.

The beautifully decorated strawberry cake right in front of me made gasp out with excitement and a whole lot of emotions.
"Mom thank you and you shouldn't have" I cried and looked up at her with a sloppy smile.

Yep, I cried and that was only thing that always came genuinely. Sometimes I just had to fake a laugh or a smile or something to make mom stop worrying but tears I could never fake. The tears always came out when mom did something for me even the smallest of them. She had become my everything ever since the rest of the family decided to abandon us. I really had this bond with mom when I was born, I felt connected to her in ways more than you can imagine. So even when dad and Tye were around I used to be with mom more than them. She had always been my everything, shouldering what I can't even if it meant she had to hurt herself. And even though, I shouldn't be burdened by her doing this , I sure was and it always made me feel that I wasn't doing enough to protect and shield her as much as she does for me. I guess that's why my tears are always on standby mode for her.