Merasmus's Haunted House Catastrophe

Chapter 2

"Everyone ready?" Sniper called out inside his truck.

He laid his head on the steering wheel. He still really didn't want to go. For once, just once, he'd like to not have to put up with Merasmus this year. Halloween was actually his favorite holiday as he didn't have to visit his parents during it.

Medic was in the car next to him. "You alright, freund?"

He lifted his head, meeting Medic's gaze. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just don't wanna be with Merasmus."

"Ah," the former doctor replied. "Me neizer. Why, I personally don't vant to get hurt. Seeing other people get hurt—ja, that's fine, but at least not me. At least I'll get some humor out of it."

Sniper furrowed his brows, taking his eyes off Medic. He forgot that he could be such a sicko sometimes.

Oh well. At least they were all bringing their weapons in case something bad happened.

One by one, they all piled into the car. Spy was the last to come in as he didn't want to be there in the first place either. Some of them were wearing Halloween costumes—Soldier was dressed as George Washington and Scout was wearing a fabric knight costume that was way too tight.

"You all got your weapons?" Sniper asked without turning around.

"Yup," they all said.

"Alright." And so, he started driving the way there.
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The people there were scarier than the haunted house itself.

"ESCA-YUUUSE me," sneered a middle-aged blonde woman holding her young daughter's hand. "You promised that the tour would start start at 6:30, well me and my daughter Reighleigh have been waiting for 50 minutes and still no tour!"

"Ma'am," said a tired-looking worker in a cheap vampire costume. "It said 7:30, not 6:30."

"Are you kidding me?" She shouted brattily, flipping her ugly haircut. "I demand to speak to the manager!"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Mrs."

Nothing was scarier than a Karen. Aside from her and her daughter there was an old hillbilly man with a long white beard, two obnoxious teens holding toilet paper, and the mayor for some reason. Again, Teufort was a small town.

"Man," Engie said, putting his hands on his fists. "It's been forever since I've been in one of these. Looks like the ones Pa used to take me to when I was a boy,"

Merasmus really needed to up his game, as the decor was pretty cheap and harmless. Cute, even. Little blanket-sheet ghosts hung from the ceiling, on the table were things labeled "zombie brains" and "mercenary eyeballs", and paper cut-out monsters such as Dracula, the wolfman and Frankenstein covered the walls.

"Ha ha, Merasmus calls this SCARY?" Soldier shouted, grabbing one of the ghosts from the ceiling. "Why, I've CRAPPED out stuff scarier than this! And what's this—mercenary eyeballs? He knows us SO well!"

"Can you shut up?" Sniper exclaimed. Soldier, of course, ignored him, punching the ghost.

Pyro had gotten into the zombie brains, squishing them around sickeningly. He pulled out some. To his surprise, it was actually brain material.

"Well wontcha look at that!" The mayor said gleefully. "Look how realistic the brains are!"

Spy and Scout had already gotten into a fight for some reason.

"For goodness's sake, Spy," Scout said. "Can you NOT smoke in a public place for once?"

"Hmm, let me think. No."