Inside An Amnesia Patient's Mind

VII. Live A Moment

"Can I have a moment with you, please?" I asked Kas the moment I saw her walked in the door. After having a small conversation with Martha, she was visited by another kid from the patient of the neighboring ward so I excused myself.

"Yes, sure. Tita Ana will be right here in a minute, do you want to take a stroll outside. I – I have something to tell you too." She said with hesitation. I just nodded and gestured my hand for her to lead on.

The walk in the hallway and elevator is deafening. I'm thinking of the questions I wanted to ask and I think she's preoccupied with the things she wanted to say too. As we arrived at the small park, she sat on the bench and looked up to me.

"You go first."/ "What do you want to—"we both uttered at the same time.

"No, you go on first. What do you want to ask?" she said while patting the space beside her motioning me to take a seat.

"Is Martha having seizures?" I finally blurted out. Based on her expression, I think my question caught her off guard and looked away from me.

"How – how do you know?" she said with a tone I cannot sure decipher. Worry? Fright? Care?

"She told me about Prickly Monster awhile ago. I think—I mean I concluded that she might be having frequent seizures. I just need confirmation." I explained. She let out a deep sigh before facing me.

"Yes, she's having frequent seizures. The antiepileptic drug prescribed by her doctor isn't working like it used to before. She's worsening and is now being given a higher dosage of medication to control seizures. I—I don't want to see such an innocent child suffering such a cruel disease. I loved her so much and it hurts. I – I mean—she's too young and sweet and – I have learned to love her for a short time we've known each other." She breaks down. Streams of tears are flowing simultaneously down her cheeks. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to calm her down but she even cried more.

Her breathing became uneasy, her hands are constantly wiping her tears trying to hold them back but only groan in frustration as she gave up wiping it and just let it flow; making my shirt wet.

My heart contracted like something is blocking its passage. It's painful seeing her in this state but I can't tell her to stop too. Her heart was too heavy to contain her feelings anymore and the only thing to lessen her pain is to let it out. I heaved a deep sigh and tried to compose myself preventing my voice to crack.

"Shh, she's going to be okay. She's a strong girl. She's brave." I comforted her.

"I just—I don't want her to go away. I'm – I'm too accustomed to her smiles. I can't –" she said between her sobs.

"Shh, we'll be there for her. She knew that. Is this why you wanted to take her out, to give her a new environment?" she just nodded between my arms.

"Okay, then we'll be going to make it memorable; for her. Alright?" she nodded again.

"Sorry, if I'm being too emotional. Sorry—"I cut her off.

"Shh, it's okay. Just let it out. Let go of those pain." We remained in that position for a few minutes before she finally calms down.

"Come here. I'm gonna wipe those precious tears away." I cupped her face with my left hand but as I place my right hand in my pocket, I suddenly burst a curse.

"Shit. I forgot to bring a hanky. Wait—"What am I gonna wipe her tears? Ghad! I'm not prepared to have a heavy drama with this woman.

"It's okay."She looked away and wiped her tears with the back of her hands.

"That won't do, baby. Can I offer you this instead?" I raised the hem of my shirt. She looked at me for a minute with her flushed face and eyes asking me if what I'm doing. "Err, right. Not a good idea—"I put my hands down and looked away but I heard her laugh.