Naaz: ok, do you want to freshen up? Kahi bore na ho jao? Why don't you read some books from the self till I get the coffee?
Sid: okay.
Sid's POV: I will get some more time until I express my feelings to her. I decide to check some books to calm down my nervousness. I look at random books and my eyes fall on a diary. I pick it up and open it. I find Shehnaaz written on it. My lips form a curve reading her name automatically. She has a different kind of effect on me, the one which I have never experienced. Surprisingly, not even with Aish. I look up into an imaginary sky, 'Sorry Aish, I Love You and I will always do. I am not giving your place to anyone. But she has made a different place in my heart. I know I love Shehnaaz immensely and it's a fact. I am going to express this to her and I am not finding anything wrong in it cause I am just being true and loyal to myself hence I can face the mirror.'
I turn the pages of the book in my hand and I read
'New Year Resolution' - Exercise everyday for 40mins - Drink atleast 2 liters of water everyday - Reduce sweets and ice-cream (I laugh at this since we had ice-cream few mins back) - Go to bed early (I laugh again as we often speak or message on phone until late night) - They say we cannot forget the 1st Love, but I will try not to think about R.. P.. S.. and forget him
I feel the earth beneath my feet being pulled by someone upon reading this line. My eyes are filled with tears and I can hear a strange kind of noise in my ears as if somebody has hit an iron rod on my head. I feel shattered. The tears in my eyes fall on the book and I close it and place it in the table.
Why Shehnaaz? Why? Why didn't you ever mentioned to me about RPS? Who is he? Ofcourse I read the lines "your first Love".. I am not sad that you have a past, even I have one but I told you everything. Why did you keep quite? I wanted to tell you my feelings today. I wanted to tell you that I love you more than anything in the world and I thought probably you loved me too. Did I misinterpreted the moment we shared behind the jacket during our engagement photoshoot? Your blushing and shyness when I touched you?
I think I am at fault. I misinterpreted your actions. I will not tell you what I wanted to say now. I think I deserve this. May be Aish cursed me from heaven for forgetting her. Else those lines 'we cannot forget our first love' wouldn't have hit me on my face.
I cannot stand here now, I need to breath some fresh air, I feel suffocated. I hear Shehnaaz working in kitchen. I can't speak to her even a single word else I might breakdown. I take my car keys and quietly open the door of her house and shut it carefully and slowly without making any noise. I drive for 10 mins, park my car to the side at a calm place and stand outside the car taking a deep breath inhaling as much oxygen into my lungs as I can.
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Naaz's POV: Thank God Sidharth asked me for a coffee. I so wanted to spend some more time with him but didn't have enough courage to ask him. Why do I feel so shy and nervous when he comes close to me? Am I thinking too much? He loved Aishwarya so much. Not everybody can forget their first love unless they had a bad one like mine. I took 5 freaking years to overcome my madness of loving a complete asshole. Now he doesn't matter to me, I don't want to waste even a fraction of second on RPS.
Sidharth's love is pure and only restricted to Aishwarya. I agree that we had few moments but it may be just his lust overpowering love. I have read it that such things happen sometime when you suppress your bodily needs for a long time. I will not blame you Sidharth for that, neither will demand the love as your lover or wife. I will be happy by seeing you happy. I wouldn't want to see any guilt in your eyes or dilemma regarding chosing your love for me and Aishwarya.
I pick the coffee mug and go to the room but I can't find him in the room. I keep the mugs on the table. May be, he is in bathroom. I look at the washroom and the door is open. I check the balcony, other room but he isn't there. I go downstairs and see that his car is not there. He left without having coffee? Wait, he left without telling me? I check my phone, no messages or miss calls.
Something fishy, why would he leave uninformed? I call him and it goes unanswered. I try 5 times but he doesn't pick. I check my coffee mug placed on table, I go to take the mug and I see my old diary. Why is this diary here? I had placed it in the shelf. Did he check it? I open the first page and I see it is wet. RPS.. he read it and is this his tears? Is this something to do with him leaving the house uninformed? Ohh.. No!!!
I pick the phone, call him again but he doesn't pick. I call Sim, and ask her about him, but she says he hasn't returned home yet. I am going mad now, the nervousness is taken over with fear! The fear of losing him!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This chapter is an emotional rollercoaster ride!😣
Feel the pain they are going through.. listen to the song "Beetain Lamhe.."💔💔
