Endless Love

Chapter Thirty Two

Wow. I have absolutely no readers... like holy crap. This feels like when I started It Just Kinda Happened. Like bro. i'm so sorry I was gone so long. Regardless, I still want to finish this book off strong. Readers or no readers..

I dunno, gonna be some drama this chapter because why not. I have like 5 readers anyways lmfao. Yall not gonna complain so.

Hope you five enjoy this part, sorry it took so long for me to release this.

Enjoy Chapter Thirty Two

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Ariana's Pov

"You don't mean that" Alexa said as she stared at me, I shrugged before nodding my head. "Sean is my life, I don't know what I would do without him, what would the kids do without him." I said before I heard footsteps coming into the room, I looked at the door way and saw Sean holding Landon. "My baby" I said softly to quickly change the subject, Sean came over to the bed and handed me Landon. "Hi my precious boy" I said in my baby voice as I looked at my son, Sean disappeared into the bathroom and Lexie pinched my arm.

"Are you taking your meds" She said in hushed tone, I ignored her and played with Landon's little hands. "Ariana I am talking to you," She said which again made me ignore her. "Sean," She said semi loudly as she hopped out of bed. "Alexa Luria don't you fucking dare" I yelled before I snapped my head over to the bathroom door just as it opened. "Sean I don't think she is taking her meds." Alexa said quickly, I groaned and turned my attention back to Landon. "Alexa that's not possible, she always takes her meds, she wouldn't lie to me about that." He said which made my heart break instantly, I knew he was going to hate me for this.

"Ariana," He said as he walked over to the bed, I ignored their presence and tried to keep my focus on Landon. "Ariana Anderson look at me," He said lowly which made me sigh and look at him. "Are you taking your meds" He said calmly, I shrugged and looked at Alexa with daggers. "You can be mad at me all you want Ariana but I never want Sean to call me and tell me that you tried to kill yourself. One time was bad enough, but never again. Do you not realize how important you are to everyone around you. What about your kids, what about your fucking mom Ariana, what about me" She said as her voice gradually got louder, my eyes clouded with tears and I just stared at her. Sean took Landon out of my arms and cradled him as he stood up, he pushed Alexa over to me and she sat down. "You have been my best friend for my entire life. Since we were fucking born Ari," She said before she looked down at her lap, I just sat quietly, fighting back the tears that so desperately wanted to fall.

"You tried to kill yourself in front of your home Ariana, with your amazing husband and your beautiful children inside. You will never understand how I felt that day. The fear of losing the only person who has ever made me feel like living was worth it. Ariana you have been in my life since I opened my fucking eyes and you were going to leave, without even saying goodbye. How could you sit here and not do whatever possible to keep those thought away. How could you risk losing your amazing fucking life. How selfish can you be" She said quietly as her voice began to crack, I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks and all I could do was let it happen. I deserved this.

I didn't want to get better. If I did I would be taking my meds, I would be writing in my journal, I would be working on my fucking music. I would be doing the things that made me, me. "I'm sorry" Was the only thing I could muster up, I had a million thoughts running through my mind. The demons that have plagued me all of my life are winning a war in my mind and I can't continue to let this go on. "I'm so fucking sorry" I cried before I shut my eyes and tried to wish this wasn't happening. "I want to live I promise I do, but the demons in my head, they want me to give up. Everyday is so fucking hard, I am trying Lexie. I want to be better on my own, I don't want the meds, I don't want to be weak. I want to be happy, I want to be normal" I cried out. I felt arms wrap around me but I still couldn't open my eyes, I didn't want to face this reality, this reality that i was a fucking failure.