Departed - Minecraft Youtuber Oneshots

we're all dead

"Just speak up."

Tommyinnit

Angst

Trigger Warning // Panic Attack, Crying, Implied Eating Disorder

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Tommy tapped his fingers along the wood of his desk, anxiety boiling in his stomach as thoughts filled his head. He wanted to talk to the people close to him, but everything felt so wrong; he knew he would be neglected once more. The boy had been ignored before when he attempted to reach out so what would be the difference now.

He couldn't help but wonder if everything he believed were just words in his head. Anytime he finally had a feeling that he would be safe to speak up he questioned it. Tommy knew he could rely on his friends, that he wouldn't be judged, but still a voice lurked in his mind.

He told himself to not speak up, to not mention anything about how he felt or what he thought in fear of upsetting the people he was around. The people who believed in him; the people who should listen to every pessimistic word Tommy spouted out of his mouth. He didn't trust any of them enough to actually start a conversation about it all.

Tommy shut his sunken eyes and drew in a shallow breath, letting it out slowly as he waited for his tiring thoughts to calm. As soon as his eyes closed a stillness formed in his stomach, the overwhelming anxiety almost melting away as he took another breath.

The sensitive boy stayed idle for a moment, a new warmth filling him. When he opened his eyes again, he felt the gentle warmth disappear as all of his empty thoughts began pouring in once more. He sighed hopelessly, tears stinging his eyes as he brought his knees to his chest, he didn't know if he would ever get over these impressions. Tommy's chest felt heavy, heavy even now as he cried.

"Tommy, supper is ready!" His mother's voice interrupted his thoughts as she called for him. He felt as if he shouldn't eat, even just her concern for him had reminded him of how much weight he had gained. Tommy couldn't even hear a sentence from anyone in his families mouths without feeling worthless or like a burden to them.

"I'm-" Tommy interrupted himself and cleared his throat in an attempt to mask his crying as he shouted back, "I'm not hungry, mum, I'll eat later."

No response followed; the silence upset Tommy more as he pushed his legs from his chest and shakily stood. He wished only that people would speak to him, that people would respond, but it all ended in only him venting to himself.

As the boy sat up a short breath escaped from his chapped lips; the surrounding room seemed almost to be shifting as he leaned himself on his desk, his elbows set against the used wood. Tommy swallowed his saliva, a pounding started to form in his ears. He couldn't take it any more; he felt as if he was about to break and fall apart.

So he simply stopped struggling against his thoughts it and collapsed to his knees, strangled sobs escaping him as he sat on his bedroom floor. Pain spread throughout his chest as he struggled to breathe, gasps of air barely making it to his lungs. His desperate fingers wrapped around his phone, and he blindly dialled any number he could, he didn't know what to do, he felt like he was dying.

575 words.