Love Me, Little Butterfly - KINGSMAN

Doomsday Protocol

Whisky. The Doomsday Protocol is a bloody bottle of whisky. "Is that it?", my brother asks, apparently as disappointed as I am. "I suppose that must be upper class humor.", Hamish answers. I keep looking at the bottle in his hands. "I don't get it." "Me neither. What the fuck are we supposed to do now?" Our friend sighs, putting the thing on the table. "Maybe we should drink a toast to our fallen comrades."

And we do. We drink one to Roxy, Arthur, J.B., every fucking other agent that comes to our mind, one to Harry, and Hamish finally drinks three on his own for Scotland. With that, the bottle is almost empty and the three of us, Merlin ahead of everyone else, completely wasted. At some point during our drinking session, he made the assumption that the story with the artificial arm that hacked our system was his fault, and now sobs in my arms. "This is all on m-me.", he cries. "I should have seen it coming." Eggsy shakes his head. "No.", he slurs. "It's not your fault. You're the best... the best bruv. Honestly, without you I would have lost it a long time ago." "Me too.", I assure him. "You saved me from getting lost when Harry died. If you hadn't been there, I would have... I would have" Then I start crying too, and Hamish takes my face in his hands the way drunk people do when they're worried about you, coming far too close. "You know, I never thanked you for being there for me. You were there when I needed you the most and you still are. You a-always listen to me when I need someone to talk to and you just h-hug me when I feel lonely. What would I do without you, Hamish?" Half of the things I just said probably didn't make any sense, but drunk people tend to understand each other when others have given up a long time ago. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" Hamish suddenly asks, still dangerously close to my face. He is clearly trying to flirt with me, locking my gaze with his hazel eyes. "No, but you're doing it now.", I flirt back. Eggsy soon realizes the intentions of my counterpart, but it's already too late. Hamish gently captures my lips with his, pulling me into a sweet but quite sloppy kiss, that my drunken self happily returns. He can't stop smiling as our tongues meet for the first time, which makes the whole thing even sloppier, but I don't really care. With one arm around my waist and one hand tangled in my hair, Hamish presses me into his chest. Soon, our innocent kisses turn into a full snogging- and make-out-session, and Eggsy tries everything to stop us. "No, guys, very bad idea. Stop the kissing, you are not... You will regret this when you are sober again, deeply. Merlin, stop kissing my sister! And you, Jane, stop kissing back!" His demands don't show any sort of effect. In fact, they just encourage Hamish to kiss me with even more passion as he starts unbuttoning my blouse. When he decides to suck my neck and I moan in response, Eggsy finally has enough and reopens the Whisky bottle. "Alright, I need another drink." Then he freezes.

"Merlin, Jane... I think we are going to Kentucky." Hamish stops kissing me and looks at Eggsy, startled. "Fried chicken? I love fried chicken." "No, proper Kentucky, look." But he already turned back to me. "Do you know what else I love, Eggsy?" Hamish grins at me, completely drunk. "Your sister." He is about to kiss me again, when my brother grabs his shoulder and pulls him away from my face. "No, look here!" There's a Kingsman sigil on the bottom of the bottle.