My Girlfriend's a Vampire

Doug the Vampire Hunter

"This is the unholiest abandoned veterinary hospital I've ever seen. I'd put the chances of seeing Canus Spectralis, ghost dog, at total max. Somebody's here. I smelt it... but the spirit world dealt it."

I lifted my head up from Ethan's shoulder when I heard loud crunching. It was coming from the other end of the couch. Rory was munching loudly on chips.

"Rory!" Ethan got his attention.

"Vampires don't even need food!" I finished.

"You know I'm a stress eater." Rory said nervously.

"Scare Finder Rule Number Eight: don't be afraid of scares."

"Doug's fearless. He's a machine designed to, like, delete fear from itself." Benny explained.

"Hey everybody! We're live outside the door of this year's Day with Doug winner. This superfan gets to hang with me and go on a scarefind in his hometown."

At the same time the person rang the doorbell on the TV, the doorbell rang here as well. I rolled my eyes at Ethan having to get up.

"Oh, come on!" Ethan sighed. "Who would bother us now?"

"That kid must have a crazy luck bonus. Like, a plus six!" Rory said as Ethan got up from the couch, leaving me cold.

"I automatically hate this jerk. He should be me and he isn't." Benny said frustratedly.

"Hey, big man! Name's Doug Falconhawk!"

I covered my mouth to keep myself from gasping. Doug Falconhawk was famous for finding the supernatural. What if he found out about me, and Ethan and Benny found out?

"Ethan. You'll never believe who won the contest." Benny raised his voice.

"Hi." Ethan said awkwardly.

~~~

"Did you turn eleven last night? What's with the juice box?" Erica walked up to Sarah and I.

"It's a new blood substitute Grandma gave us." I said simply, holding up my own.

"I guess she's used to packing nerd lunches." Sarah sighed.

Erica took the box and smelled it. "Ugh! Smells like shoe. How is it?"

"I've had to drink it for the past five years to dull down my cravings, so I'm immune to the disgusting taste." I explained.

"Not bad. Aside from the fact that it may cause nausea, dizziness, irritability, bloating, and sleep drooling. So, I hate it." Sarah deadpanned.

"I know you think feeding on humans is wrong, but do you really want to risk bloating?" Erica motioned to her stomach as she walked away.

~~~

"Rule Number One: scares don't find themselves. But you can bring them to you, if you have the right bait." Mr. Falconhawk started as Ethan walked into class.

"What'd I miss?" Ethan asked as he sat down next to me.

"Nothing, really." I shrugged.

"A recipe for wicked ghost action!" Doug said excitedly.

"You should spike it with vervain, Doug. It also makes for a sweet vampire repellent." Benny commented. "So I've heard."

Rory fell off his chair as I looked at him curiously.

"Whoa! You're not one of them, are you buddy?" Doug joked.

The class laughed while Benny and Ethan laughed forcibly.