The Brothers [MULTI, crack-ish]

Barry and Ken

Tom Riddle was not happy when he arrived home. After spending all day on paperwork and deals with dunderheads, the Dark Lord was looking forward to relaxing. However, this was clearly not to be. Upon reaching his house, Tom realised that there was an unfamiliar car parked in their driveway. This would not have been so unusual if the two residents of the house in question drove. But, seeing as neither Tom or Harry did, it was certainly an out-of-place vehicle. Tom knew that Harry had no interest in Muggle transportation, so he had full faith in his ravenette that Harry did not sporadically buy a car. Grumbling, Tom entered his house, only to hear a recently deemed familiar voice conversing with his Harry. A recently deemed familiar voice who must have bought another new car.

"Are we doing everything right, legally?" The newly familiar voice.

"I'm a wizard." Harry.

"Right. Well, here's to a great team," the voice, followed by a clink.

"To a great team!" Harry.

Tom grimaced and announced his presence. "Well, hello."

"Tom!" Harry exclaimed, whirling around with a smile.

"Hello," their guest replied.

Internally, Tom recoiled at the idea of having a guest in his private home.

"I didn't think you were coming," Harry continued.

"No, I was just late," Tom said, "I tried to leave, but... Lucius."

Tom's beloved ravenette nodded in understanding. "I didn't want all of this to go to waste, so I invited Will over. Luckily, he was free!" Harry explained, heading toward the kitchen.

Tom grinned, all teeth. "How lucky indeed."

"There's a little left," Harry called. "I could heat it up."

"Sounds great," Tom replied, situating himself in Harry's abandoned seat.

"So I hear you're quite the wizard. I'm not much myself. More of a Squib, I suppose."

Tom wasn't really listening, though he was glaring harshly at Will. "That's where I usually sit. Right... there."

Before Will could respond, Harry piped up, "Tom, Will was looking over your paperwork, and he agreed with me that it's not a great idea to automatically kill Muggles that discover us. A simple Obliviate will do."

"You think I don't see what you're doing?" Tom hissed across the table.

"I know how hard it is to settle for not murdering annoying, nosy people. We have that in common," Will replied, dismissing Tom's question.

Tom's eyes flashed in annoyance, "Do we?"

Will hummed, "Well us non-wizards tend to struggle less with such matter, but the urge is still there. To kill idiots, that is."

"That's just what I was thinking about doing," Tom retorted, eyes glinting.

"Tom," Harry called over the microwave's beep, "I already told Will he could borrow your green tie for his meeting tomorrow. I hope that's all right."

Tom's shoulders visibly tightened as Will got up to use the loo.

"Look at that," Will mused, stopping to admire a painting of Harry in the hall.

Tom stood up, approaching Will. "You know, I've just about had it with your little games," Tom threatened, blocking Will's view of the painting.

Will blinked, "What's that?" he asked, looking down at Tom's now-drawn wand.

"Just a little piece of magic," Tom answered, twirling his wand through his fingers.

"Yikes," Will grimaced, catching onto Tom's hateful connotation.

"Makes an excellent weapon," Tom mused, shrugging.

Will's eyes widened. "Hey, remember what I said? We all struggle with those urges," Will nervously chuckled.

Tom's caught Will's eyes as he pushed his wand into the shorter man's stomach. "Av-"

"Thomas! What are you doing?" Harry screeched, glowering as he stepped up beside Tom. "We need to talk," Harry hissed, eyes flashing a more vivid green than usual. "Will is very nice to me, and that's saying something, because the last people to have been nice to me backstabbed me! Especially considering he is a Muggle, yet he has still been incredibly nice!" Harry snarled.

"Especially considering... what are you talking about? Do you have other Muggles in your life?" Tom questioned, slipping into Parseltongue.

Harry glared. "No, but there are certain people always mentioning Muggles in my life. And you're one of them!"

Tom threw his hands out in exasperation. "Fine," he hissed, "talk to Muggles."

Harry simply turned to Will, ignoring Tom's incoherent muttering.

"I have been feeling some kind of barrier between Tom and I since I've been visiting," Will hummed. "I couldn't overcome it. Well, yet, that is. Anyway..." Will trailed off, also ignoring the irate brunette behind Harry.

"Are you okay for your meeting?" Harry asked, worry clear in his eyes.

Will smirked in response. "I believe Mister Montgomery is about out of time

After Will had left, and he did make a quick exit after the house residents' spat, Harry cornered Tom.

"You," Harry glowered, "are sleeping on the couch."

Ignoring Tom's spluttering a hissing Harry stalked out of the room. "I can't believe you threatened to kill my brother!"

Tom's head whipped toward Harry, his eyes wide. "Brother?"