The Curse Of Fate

To Marry A Bastard

As he pulls me into his his arms I felt something I've never felt before, wanted and safe. With his warm arms holding me as my tears trace down my face and l finally feel safe. Something I haven't felt in so long and in that moment I realize it's been what I've feared forever but what I so desperately needed, someone's embrace.

"Tell me more" he ask as I pull away and finally collect myself as I wipe away my teardrops from my face.

"What?" I ask him as I really don't know if I'm imagining what he asked or if he really just did.

"Tell me more, about your birthday. I want to know how it was supposed to be" he says as I nod and walk to the tree as he follows and I sit down as I lean against the tree as he sits beside me and I start.

"I was supposed to spend it with my mother. It was supposed to be great, not with the extravagant balloons and cakes and the endless arrays of people filling up a room. I rather not spend my birthday with people that say they know me but barely scrape the surface of who I really am, no. I was on my way to spend it with my backbone, to read to her. To read to her and bake a cake with her and have a movie marathon, one of those where you make fun of the characters, saying you would do the exact opposite if you were in their situation." I say as I look at him and can't help but feel the guilt in his eyes. "But I need you to know I don't blame you for this" I say to him as his eyes flick to my face.

"Why? Why don't you blame me? I did this, I did all of this. We're here because of me, so why don't you blame me?" He ask as I smile.

"I don't blame you because there's a saying that I hold dear, 'what people speak in anger is the most truth they'll speak in their entire life.' But because of you I know that's not true, at least in this case. Because I don't blame you, It's mine as well. Things happen for a reason, I used to hate that cheesy saying  but it's all we have to now, I have to believe that there's a reason this is happening" I say as he pulls me closer to him and cups my face, but it doesn't feel right, "Please don't" I beg him as he pulls away and stands up.

"Why? Give me one reasons why I shouldn't kiss you? Right here and right now?" He ask as I can hear the frustration in his voice.

"Don't kiss me if I don't mean anything to you. If your going to kiss me, kiss me when I mean something to you. Not out of pity, nor desperation and neither of scarcity of variety, do it because you truly care for me. Not by looks or your overwhelmed emotions, do it because I'm more to your than a ally. Please, spare my heart from your clutches? I know how heartbreak is described, spare me the pain, please Nathaniel?" I beg as he scoffs and I can't help but feel fear. Deep down a part of me wanted to let him kiss me, for his lips to softly caress mine, but I knew I had to protect my heart at all cost.

"Oh come on! You can't seriously be that blind, or are you?" he ask sarcastically as I don't know what he means, I have no earthly idea. "You can't be that clueless can you?" he says as I ponder."The bullying, the constant taunting? I should have told you years ago" he says as a sigh escapes him and it finally clicks for me.

"Your lying! Don't toy with me Nathaniel, I'm not something you can toy with! I'm not like the rest of the girls your used to, if I break their is no fixing me, so be honest" I beg him as he smiles and closes in the space between us as I find it hard to breathe.

"I'm serious Francesca, I'm infatuated with you. The way you zone out, talk and even the simplest thing you do like yawning, I'm being completely and utterly honest." he says as I try to look away in a attempt to save myself the tears, to find it easier to question him. As I try to turn away from his gaze and he holds my chin in his hand and leads my face back to his gaze.

"You can't love someone like me, I'm boring, plain. I'm every mans worst nightmare, and you want to lie to me! You can't love someone like me, be honest with yourself.........be honest to me" I beg him as I see no change in his eyes.