pale october twilight

sgetober day six: lunchtime with sophie

Hester and Anadil stew over textbooks and letters and failed results, but Dot daydreams and dances behind in her own head.

Sophie is talking about extensions, do's and don'ts, and Dot is rapt, eying her own in the bottom of the rusty spoon. Her eyelashes, like her hair, are rather short.

"Dot, tell me you're not actually paying attention to this garbage." Hester snaps, looking over her book.

"Mona and Archane are listening!" Dot protests, enviously eyeing the two girls applying mascara onto each other.

"They're not part of the coven," Hester responds. Anadil mutters a thank goodness.

Dot pouts. "It's not fair, how come they get to take pride in how they look when I have to be... reduced?"

Hester snorts, no longer paying Dot any attention. Anadil answers. "Dot, you're a Never. Sophie's just trying to show Prince Dipface Nevers aren't that bad, when really, we are."

Dot fumes. Easy for them to say. Neither of them are ugly, even if Hester's hair could use some combing, and Anadil's scowling nature does tend to scare people away. Even the other Nevers aren't hopeless! Archane has a perfect symmetrical face, and Mona has sharp, nice cheekbones and smooth long hair. Ravan is fit, with wide, expressive eyes. Vex has nice ears and blond hair she wishes she had.

Dot can find beauty in them, so why can't she find it in herself?

Room 66 is filled with lively humming and a sweet perfume when Dot pokes her head in. Hester and Anadil are studying in the common room. Sometimes Dot wishes she could be like them, dedicated and eager to learn. Daddy would probably like them. Dot just can't pay attention to things for long periods of time.

She shuts the door behind her, watching Sophie through the back of the jeweled mirror. She's rubbing lotion on her skin, her flawless skin. Dot miserably plunks herself on her mattress. Why can't she be pretty like Sophie? She's aware that she's fat, she's heard enough of that from Daddy and Hester's stray comments, but that doesn't mean she's ugly, right?

"Sophie, do you think you could help me with mascara? Like what you were talking about during today's lunch?" Dot rushes out, before her persistent cowardice can get in the way.

Sophie pauses, her back to Dot. Dot flusters. "You don't have to!"

Sophie turns to her, surprised. "Well, I suppose I could make time. Here, sit here."

Dot gapes, then rushes to sit across from Sophie on the hard ground. "Thank you!"

"No problem." Sophie says absently, picking up a minuscule brush and a jar of black ink. It must be homemade. Dot fidgets under Sophie's scrutinizing gaze.

Dot expects them to sit in silence, but to her surprise, Sophie starts talking.

"Hmm. You have short lashes, but they're very curly and thick. Like your hair. I'm so jealous of your hair. " She dips the brush in the jar, scraping it on the edge and holding it up to Dot's face. "Can you move in closer?"

"My hair?" Dot asks, shocked. She scoots in closer.

"Have you ever seen it before?" Sophie snarks. She holds the brush above her eyelid. "Blink."

Dot blinks. "Well yes, but yours is way more soft! And it's such a pretty color! Mine is just a frizzy mess!" Dot says, wondering if Sophie is just lying to be nice. She moves onto the other eye.

"Blink. I mean, yes, my hair's flawless, but it's a very high standard to live up to. You just need a good brush! Here, try this one, it's great for bedheads," Sophie says, putting the small brush down and reaching for with very fine bristles. It is also bejeweled, and Dot begins to wonder if Sophie is stealing this stuff. "Not my best work, but I did have a short notice. Pretty good, all things considered. What do you think?" She holds up the mirror.

"Wait! Let me comb my hair first!" Dot says, looking away and running the comb through her hair. It takes a while, and at one point it gets stuck and Sophie has to look away from her nails to help pull it out.

"Ready?" Sophie asks, holding up the mirror. "My arm's getting tired."

"Yeah, okay," Dot says hesitantly. She looks into the mirror. And dampens. "I look the same!" she protests, looking away from her face. The same round face with dull bangs and the same brown eyes.

Sophie frowns. "Not really. Look at yourself."

Dot does, and slowly, she can see bits and pieces of herself come together. Her eyes are bright, framed by dark lashes, and her hair looks more put together, and neat. She smiles at the mirror. Stray curls frame her round face. Her bangs, and freckles, which she usually hates, make her look more inviting, like she's someone she'd want to talk with.

"Wow. That's me!"

"That's you." Sophie says, nodding.

Thanks Sophie," Dot says, trying not to cry. Is this what it's like to have a sister? Have a friend? Be beautiful?

"No problem darling." Sophie says, letting Dot take the mirror.

"Uh Sophie? Do you mind not telling Hester and Anadil about this?" Dot asks, shyly.

Sophie is staring at her nails again, but she says, "Mmhmm. "

Later, before Hester and Anadil come back for bed, Dot scrubs off the mascara gently, to leave no marks. She looks at the mirror, and is surprised to find, nothing has changed. Those same bits and pieces are still there. Mascara, is just that, mascara. It's not Dot. She still sees the Dot she saw earlier. Even when she smiles. Especially then.

She beams and jumps up and down. Nothing can explain the joy she has when she realizes that maybe, just maybe, there's nothing wrong with how she looks. Dot likes herself.

That's good enough for her.

And maybe Dot's good enough already. 

authors notes because i'm new to writing on wattpad and am an incompetent human:

if sophie seems ooc, that's on me, i have a hard time writing her. also hester and anadil do learn to be nicer to dot, maybe that would be a good prompt for a day!
this subject is easy to mess up. listen, if anything, and i mean anything, was upsetting about this oneshot, please don't hesitate to let me know on my and i will change it