"You know you crazy for sulking over him right," Zen said sliding into the booth across from Samara.
"You know you crazy for suggesting that I still care about his punk ass?"
"Sis. Cut the bs. God gave me good vision, okay. I can see right through it."
Samara huffed. "Ar'ight. Look. I'm not sulking over him. I'm just—"
"Trynna figure out where it went wrong."
"Yeah," she sighed heavily, "that, and why—"
"You weren't worth fighting for?"
"Damn. Will you get out of my head," Samara chuckled.
"Chile I can't help it. I know it ain't easy having me live there rent free?"
"Yeah. I'm bout to start chargin' yo ass." Samara and Zen burst out laughing. When the two of them finally calmed down, Zen reached across the table and grabbed Samara's hand. Her face held concern for her friend.
"Hey. You're not always gonna feel like this," she consoled. Samara's eyes shifted away from Zen to fight back tears. She quickly dabbed underneath her eyes before giving her attention back to Zen.
"I'm afraid that's not gonna be true for me. This really does hurt Z."
"I know," Zen said softly, "but what you're feeling is only temporary. This will pass." Zen looked across the room and, as perfect timing would have it, spotted the subject of their conversation sitting alone. "Oh my goodness. Girl, there's Rico. This is the perfect setup. He's sitting right over there by himself. No girlfriend in sight. Go talk to him."
Samara turned her head in the direction that Zen had pointed her to. "I don't know," Samara said hesitantly. "You really think I should?"
"Yes, because the sooner you let him go, the sooner you and Zay can get together," Zen said with a big smile. Samara sucked her teeth.
"Girl get a clue. Don't nobody want your annoying ass brother."
"Clearly you do. Duh. You just don't know it yet."
Samara playfully rolled her eyes at Zen before standing up from the table. "Wish me luck," she said over her shoulder.
"Good luck," Zen said behind her.
On her way over to Rico, Samara felt anxious, but she kept telling herself that she wouldn't show it. By the time she had gotten to his table he had already saw her coming.
"Mar what's up," he smiled. "Whatchu doin here?"
"Hey," she smiled back. "Do you mind if I sit for a second?"
"Nah, not at all. Have a seat."
"Thanks," she said sliding into the seat across from him.
"So what you and Zen doing here?"
"The same thing you doing fool," Samara smiled. "Hanging out."
"A'ight. My bad. Dumb question," Rico laughed. "So what's up? Why you come over?"
"I wanted to talk to you."
Rico looked confused. "About what? I thought we talked about everything."
"No we didn't and you know that," Samara stated calmly.
Rico sat back in his seat. "Okay. I'm all ears. Shoot."
"Why didn't you want us to work....and how could you move on so quickly?"
"Okay. Straight shooter," Rico smiled. Samara looked at him anxiously awaiting his response. Rico sat up and leaned forward. "Baby I didn't break up with you, because I didn't want us to work. I broke up with you, because we weren't working. We look good together, but we don't belong together." Rico cocked his head to the side. "I thought you would have figured that out by now."
"Why couldn't you just come to me and tell me that? Why blindside me with a breakup? I deserved way more than what you gave me." Rico knew she was right. He didn't have anything to say.
"The way you ended things was shitty. You do know that?"
"Of course I know that."
"So why no apology? Why am I the one reaching out?"
"You didn't want to hear from me. You told me several times to leave you alone."
"It doesn't matter Rico. When you really want to make things right you don't let some empty threat to stay away keep you from making amends. If you had any love for me at all you would've reached out and fixed the mess you made."
"Mara, I'm sorry. You right. I should've handled things differently."
"Damn straight," Samara said giving Rico a little bit of attitude, but one good look at him and her face softened. "I know you've moved on," she uttered, cutting the growing silence between them, "but I still love you and for whatever reason everything about this breakup has been hard. It's been really hard to see you with her. And although I have Jules, we aren't together and—" Rico was taken aback by her last statement and cut her off.
"Is that how you want it?"
"Yeah. I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm," she quietly exhaled, "still trynna work through this..." Samara trailed off.
"But I-I don't get it. You've never been a "just sex" kinda girl," he said trying to make sense of this. "This could get messy."
"Okay, but it won't," she stated matter-of-factly.
"You don't know that."
Samara scoffed. "Yes I do. Jules and I want the same thing."
"Oh yeah, like I'd believe that."
Samara stood from the table. "I didn't come over here so you could criticize my arrangement with Jules!" She turned away from him and headed towards the front of the club. Rico stood up and followed behind her.
"I'm not criticizing it," he said as Samara swung open the door. "I'm trying to point out that he just wants to fuck and you somehow convinced yourself that that is what you want too!"
"It is what I want!" Samara said turning around to face him. "What part of that is not clicking?"
"None of it. I know you and I know that you crave something deeper and more meaningful than just sex. You want intimacy and passion. You want to be in love."
"Well since it's so easy for you to understand, put me out of my misery and give me what I want!" she yelled with tears standing in her eyes. Rico stood speechless in front of her. "Oh. That's right. You can't, because you're with your ex, the girl you left for me. Go figure."
"Samara you're so much better than this."
"Oh, because you've been so good at showing me that!" Samara said rolling her eyes. "You know what, save it Rico. You think you know me so well and that you have the right to judge me for how I choose to be with Jules. Right now, this is as good as it gets for me. You no longer want to be with me, so I'm with someone who does. I have sex with Jules, because he makes me feel good and wanted. All the things that I wanted from you. All the things that I used to get from you. What does it matter if I want something more if I can't have it with the person I want? You've made it clear that you don't want me and that you have moved on. Fine. But, don't judge me for how I choose to cope. Until I have made peace with this I am going to continue to see Jules and do what makes me feel good, so as long as it keeps me from thinking about you."
Rico looked at Samara incredulously. "Mara—"
"Baby, what are you doing out here?" Rico and Samara both turned their heads and saw Simone approaching them. She didn't look too happy about seeing Rico standing outside with Samara. "Sorry I'm late," she said, giving Rico a quick kiss on the lips. "I thought I told you to wait for me inside. Didn't expect to see you having a pow wow with your ex." Simone gave Samara a quick once over and grabbed ahold of Rico's hand.
Since Simone had put an abrupt end to their conversation, Samara took it as her cue to leave. She brushed past Rico and quickly headed back inside. When she got back to her table she quickly said to Zen, "Come on. We're leaving."
"Wait a minute," Zen said rushing out behind her, "What's wrong? What happened between you two? Why'd you rush off like that?" As Samara and Zen were heading for the exit Zen noticed Simone hanging on to a very annoyed looking Rico.
"Samara talk to me," Zen urged as they walked to the car. "What happened?"
...
