The Test (August Alsina)

On the First Day...

"Life deal a nigga blows but we eat that shit"

- J.Cole Roll Call

Mia opened a letter stating that she is no longer a priority and that she has been put on a list saying that maybe. just maybe she will get the services that she needs to get her life back on track.

I am so tired of this shit

Tired of disappointment

Tired of getting Punk'd

just when you think your life is finally coming together you get dealt bullshit

I am back at square 1, fucking square 1

I don't have a man. I don't have any kids. I'm not having sex. I'm not doing drugs....

What the fuck could you possibly want from me?

What did I do so damn wrong?

Why do I have to deal with all this shit huh?

Why?? I know I'm not perfect and I have done my dirt .

But why do the people who do these things get a pass.??

Don't even take care of their kids but they got a car , a house ,and those new uglass Jordans

what the fuck did I do to deserve this??

Can I move to the better side of Hell??

I make less than a hundred dollars a week

I'm not shit , a worthless piece of shit

I wonder what happens when you die.

like when you end your life ...

do you go to Hell?

It couldn't even be worse than the life I have been given

I fuckin hate myself

bangs her head against the brick wall until she feels the blood trickling down from the gash she has created , then starts biting her wrist till she draws blood and rams her fist into the wall, did the same thing with her foot and falls to the ground

_____________________

After I dropped a load in her mouth, I zipped my pants and went back into the booth.

I tried to get in to the mood of the song so I closed my eyes and what I saw seemed like a dream.

I had the club goin up , that hoe was too live. So I started doing my jig and out of no where niggas started shooting. Damn can't take niggas no damn where but anyway I realized the shots were aiming at me. What the fuck for? I don't have beef with nobody. But hoes gon' be hoes. Anyway so I got hit and then the room cleared but there was one person left. It was a girl trying to help me I couldn't make out her face but I told her I was going home to see my brother and that I didn't need her help but she grabbed my hand tighter and layed on my blood stained shirt pleading for me to stay, she loved me. and that she needed me .

Yo Aug

a nigga had to ruin my thoughts

apparently I was deep in my pennies.

I think it's a wrap for night, you need your rest, we don't need you blacking in and out and sh-

alright b daps up

and that's how my night ended ...well that's all I remembered. Until I wrapped my arms around a young lady and pulled her closer to my chest.

It felt good to have someone to hold and then I came to my senses and pushed her off of me .

She slowly woke up ...

Ouch ......

she slowly looked around at my white and gold satin sheets ....

Am I in Heaven??...I made it in ?? gets up and immediately falls to the floor and winces in pain

August : blankly stares at her he suddenly remembers how she got in his bed and rushes to her side and places her on the bed.

Mia: Hey I know you...you're August Alsina did you die too? what happened?

August: *looks into her eyes with concern* you didn't die, ma .. I brought you here . I got you off the streets. I saw you were bruised and beaten. I didn't want anything else to happen to you.

Mia: omg did you take me to the hospital?? please tell me you didn't

August: nah I checked your pulse and I brought you home and had my cousin check you out. I didn't take you to the hospital because I didn't want whoever you had beef in the streets with to find out.

Mia: beef? laughs I don't have beef with anyone

August: then explain why you look like that , ma

Mia: It was self-inflicted

August: you did all that to yourself? damn

Mia: yeah I wanted to die, apparently it didn't work

August: why would you want to kill yourself?

Mia: because life isn't worth living anymore I have went left too many times so It's not going to get any better

August: that's not true ma, you're still here and you're here with me so obviously you have a purpose.

Mia: It's easy for you to say. you aren't living my life.

August: Who was he?

Mia: He? there is no he

August: well she?

Mia: really?

August: hey, I didn't know.so what makes your life so fucked up?

Mia: I went to school , I cheated the day before graduation. I got caught and i failed 2 classes. I was going to fail the other class anyway because that class was total bs . And anyway I thought I was going to come back from it. I can't get a job, well a job that pays. I work fast food and I hate it. I don't even make a $100 a week ... wtf can I do with that. And people who have kids, sell drugs,sell their bodies, be rude and hurt other people they live so much better lives than I do. I can't compete with that I rather die. I'm tired of living with demons because they are always inviting more I am so tired of all these fucking disappointments ...getting angry again ..ripping off the bandages and biting her arm again.

August: No stop ....stop, ma

Mia: Mia, my name is Mia and I'm not shit bawling

August: stop! just stop Mia ... I got you, I'm here ...

he took her to the bathroom cleaned and changed her bandages , carried her to bed and held her in his arms. As she cried he closed his eyes and realized that she is

the girl of his dreams.

Book Cover coming soon ...