A Real Family (Intruloceit Fan-Fic)

Chapter 17 - Building Stars

Gotta be honest, this isn't turning out how I planned. I had other stuff I had wanted to do before all this but it just kinda happened... So it happens all at once instead of building up more like I wanted. But all well I guess. And I'm sorry it took so long. I won't bore you with my excuses, but yeah sorry.
Tw: a couple sexual jokes and swearing

Logan's PoV

"You want to what?" I tilted my head in confusion at the suggestion Remus had just made. It sounded... well, for lack of a better word, insane.

"Make constellations! We draw them, write their stories, and I'll put them in the sky!" Remus bounced around the room as he gathered paper and pencils. "An example: Fuck the Duck is a water sign and appears every other month. The constellation is based off the mighty duck who impregnated sixty-nine out of the four hundred and twenty people it had sex with in a month!"

"Is having that many sexual partners in a month healthy?" I shook my head, "Never mind that. I don't think I can be, well, creative enough to create a constellation."

"Of course you can! You're smart enough to make it all make sense! Besides, you've got me here to help if you need it." Remus hopped onto the desk and started to scribble on a paper. "Just go with whatever comes to mind, and if you decide you hate it? Well, I'll eat it if you just can't stand to look at it. If you get bored though, let me know and we can do something else."

"I don't think eating paper, especially written on paper, is healthy... Then again, you eat deodorant so I suppose paper can't be much worse." I picked up a pencil and paper, signing my name at the top of it out of instinct.

"Gotta keep your mouth and armpits fresh!"

Remus turned on music for background noise as we worked. It took me a while before I even got started on my constellation, and a few tries after that before I thought of one I liked. Every time I looked at Remus, his stack of papers had gotten higher. Were they all constellations or just ones he decided he didn't like? I suppose I shouldn't expect less from him, seeing as how he was one half of creativity. Finally, I finished the basic information of the constellation and just had to draw it. Seeing as how it was just a bridge, it wasn't too difficult. I just made an arch with four stars, then drew the actually bridge below it to show what it was.

"A bridge, huh? What made ya think of that?" Remus spoke up.

"Oh, well... This is all started on the bridge at the Divide... I want to remember it every time I look at the stars because walking across that bridge was the best decision I ever made." I barely thought the words before they were spoken, so I even surprised myself a bit. Still, what I said was sincere. Remus suddenly hugged me from the side, startling me.

"I know I should ask, but I just couldn't help it." He mumbled.

"It's okay. I really don't mind if it's you. You have my permission to hug me whenever you like." More sincere statements. It was strange to think about my statements now because I hadn't thought too much of it before. I had been too preoccupied with other thoughts, but now I could only think about what I said. And to who I said those statements to.

I didn't have to pretend in front of Remus. Though I still did out of habit, but just knowing was good enough for me for now. And he treated me as an equal and with respect. He listened to me, even though it was hard for him sometimes. Even when he was the only one talking, he actually made me part of the conversation by looking at and talking to me. He'd ask for my opinion and wait for my reply unlike Roman, who would ask for an opinion but immediately carry on talking without getting an answer. Remus also invited me to do things we could both enjoy, like the experimenting. Sometimes, I didn't realize I would like something until we did it. Making these constellations was an example of that. He didn't just do what only he wanted and dragged me along. He listened and understood more about me than the other "light sides" ever could. They didn't even ask me or know what I wanted for my birthday. They only forced me to do whatever they wanted.

Earlier, Remus comforted me and made me feel... safe. Facing my emotions after repressing them was difficult, but I suppose it was time to unlearn that bad habit. I wanted to feel again. With some help, I think I could do it. Stop repressing and learn more about emotions, how to connect with them, and how to understand them. Would Remus help me though?

"You okay?" Remus pulled me from my thoughts. I looked over at him as he pulled away from me.

"Yes, I was... just thinking." I nodded.

"Okay, if you say so. Ready to put these up in the sky?" Soon, we were standing outside under the stars, and I had my eyes closed. "Aaaand open!"

My eyes opened and drifted from Remus' excited face to the starry sky. It took a few moments before I found the bridge and the constellation Remus created not far from it. "There."

"Yep!" Remus nodded and bounced on his toes. "Wanna know what mine is? It's a picnic basket! Because...?"

"Because...that was the first activity we did together?" Would Remus really want to remember it so much that he put it in the sky?

"Exactly! I think we should put our history into the stars! Wouldn't that be cool!?" Remus grabbed my hands and turned me to face him. "Then we could relive a memory every time we looked up. Like a scrapbook in the sky. Spending time with you has been the most fun I've had in a long time. And I...feel a little like my old self. Most of how I act in front of you is genuine. Virgil leaving really messed me up, but I think I'm finally moving on from it. For real."

Remus bit his lip and casted his gaze towards the ground. "Sorry, I haven't... Saying that was weird for me. I've never lied to Janus but I never had to say any of that aloud because he just knew. Being so open..."

"Makes you feel vulnerable." I muttered, looking to the grass as well. After a moment, I urged myself to be as open as him, "I don't think I could have said it better myself. Mostly because I wouldn't know where to begin. I've been someone else for so long. I forgot how emotions work and what they do to me. At least the positive ones anyway. But I know I feel something when I'm with you, and I want to feel it all the time. It feels new and good."

I focused on Remus as his fingers intertwined with mine. His eyes lifting to meet mine again with a small smile on his lips. "Logan, I... Can I kiss you?"

Ha! I'm so mean lol