It's easy for me to tell you 'I love you', but it's so hard for me to mean it.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault and it may sound a bit cliché but really, it's not you, it's me.
I never grew up hearing 'I love you' uttered into my soul.
I had people showering me with love, but by then I had a permanent umbrella put up, shielding me from their storms.
I guess...I didn't want love.
It got to a point where I couldn't see the point of love.
It couldn't bring back the dead, it couldn't get me grades, nor could it get me a job interview...
So, what is the point?
What was the point on wasting energy on something so useless?
Eventually, I realised that people expected me to be loving though, even though I didn't love them.
And so, I learnt to pretend.
The fake smiles, taunt hugs, the flattery and flirting.
It annoyed me so much, but I'd rather be accepted into the crowd that be an outcast.
And so, I faked it till I made it...
Made it to you.
And now I can almost imagine myself falling in love with you,
If only I could figure out how.
If I could figure out how to close my umbrella, so that I can be soaked in your showers,
Or how to stop my pretence so I could acknowledge how I truly feel.
If only.
Too bad I can't.
YOU ARE READING
My Words
PoetryA lot of my poems will probably be triggering...but I guess that is kind of the point. What's the point of a poem if it doesn't trigger you. If I do, then I guess it has done its job to reach whoever needs to reach it. Everything here is completely...
