Behind The Mask

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Melanie's P.O.V

♛

Monday came around quickly and once again the day started off with Math and then English. English wasn't as bad as Math since it was way easier. We had arranged seats which I hated, but luckily I sat at the back of the classroom away from the attention and paranoia that someone was looking at you.

While Miss Kelly was standing by her desk talking about African-American slavery, I looked to my left.

In the second row by the window sat the guy I've basically grown up with as we've been together in every class since fourth grade. Also the guy I had a major crush on, or you could say really liked.

Same thing.

But there were also a few other students I've known for a long time, my best friends for example.

Nate was the beautiful name of my crush. His hair was brown and curly and he had chocolate eyes. He had tan skin and was around 5'6 ft. He was just like other guys, there was nothing special in his appearance or so.

But to me there was something about him, I just didn't know what.

Just something that made it hard for me to stop liking him.

I've had many crushes, I mean we've all liked a lot of guys. But my crush on him didn't seem like a simple school crush that would go away after a while.

It felt real, and that scared me. To be honest I hated myself even more for liking him. I didn't deserve a guy like him.

I was too ugly for him.

Yet I couldn't stop looking at him, seeing him laugh brought a smile to my face. Everytime we made eye contact I didn't want to look away. How I always wished for his attention even though I hated the thought of getting it from anybody.

Except him.

And that was scary.

It was like I no longer knew myself and what I was doing.

But then when I come home and think back on our "moments" as I like to put it, I realize how stupid I am. If I get his attention he'll see me, he'll see how unattractive I am. So I made a promise to forget him, ignore my feelings and stop seeking for his attention.

However, as soon as I see him again it's like those thoughts just fly out the window along with all my worries.

For one moment I forget how much I despise myself. I forget how ugly I am. I forget how stupid it is for me to be having these feelings.

For one moment I forget all my problems in this cruel world and can just relax. That's how strong my feelings were which only made me more frightened.

I didn't want to get hurt, besides how could he ever like me back with the way I looked. How can he ever love me if even my family aren't capable of it.

My own flesh and blood.

How?

~

Dear diary,

It was hard not eating lunch again, the food looked amazing and smelled delicious. But I had to keep strong and remember why I was doing this. The only thing I ate today was pasta which now led to me having an extremely painful stomach ache.

The rest of the school day was the usual. I got some homework left to do but I'm too tired right now and my stomach ache is also not helping. On top of that I have a minor headache.

Actually diary, something interesting did occur today. Me and Nate made eye contact three times.

THREE TIMES!!

It was magical, when I think back it's like the people around us disappeared and I could only see him. It reminds me of books I've read where that kind of stuff happened but I didn't think it could be real!

Maybe it's not and my mind is exaggerating and making up things, either way I can't stop thinking about it.

I'm smiling like a dork here just thinking about it hehe :)))

At least there is something that can make me happy and put a real smile on my face. I hope this happiness or this feeling - whatever it is - can stay for a while.

It's nice.

So Nate, thank you for putting a smile on my face when no one else does. I know you're not doing this intentionally, but you still make me feel these emotions that I haven't felt for a long time.

Happiness, warmth....

Thank you Nate, you made my day brighter.

- Melanie, 12th Mars

➼

Hey, my adorable little chipmunks!

I know this chapter was very very short and I deeply apologize but I can assure you that starting from chapter 7, everything will be longer, better and more detailed!

If you're still here thank you so much! I'll probably edit these short ones in the future when this book has come to and end.

Ba bye luvs:)

Love y'all!❤️🐿️

~ 𝑂𝑐𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑎_𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑒

~~~

Thoughts on her "little" crush?

Any guys reading? I'm genuinely curious

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