Behind The Mask

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Melanie's P.O.V

♛

"What's your first lesson, Amara?" I asked. We were all standing by her locker.

"Uhh, I have world history. And you guys?

"Spanish, yuck," Rhee answered. I heard Audrey beside her exclaim 'me too', only she said fuck after instead of yuck.

"I have biology, well see ya later."

"Yeah, we'll meet at your locker before lunch."

"Okay have fun." With that I headed towards the biology lab. Just before the bell rang I began snickering at hearing what Audrey said.

"Fun! School and fun in the same sentence is like saying I got an A on the math test. Fucking impossible!

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"Miss Bellrose"

"Here"

"Mr Parker"

"Yeah"

"Miss Lilac"

"Yes"

"Miss Winter"

"Here." God I hated when teachers called your name to see if you were here. I know this was the easiest way to see who's missing, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

"Mr Atwood"

"Mm"

While Mrs Campbell continued calling out students' names, I let my thoughts wander off somewhere else.

If you asked anyone in the class how I was as a person, they'd probably say something along the lines of shy and quiet. I don't know how it happened, but everyone in my classes called me smart. I wasn't dumb, I had high grades and got a lot of praise from my teachers with my writing and more. But sometimes I just wondered why everyone thought I was so smart, there were more people in my classes who actually raised their hands, answered questions and also had amazing grades.

It wasn't bad being called smart, but the pressure coming with it was something many didn't understand. The only thing they thought was, "oh she's so smart, doesn't have to worry about slipping or anything", "she's complaining but it's better to be smart than dumb" etc.

I'm not complaining! Do you think I was born this way, do you think I was born with this information? With always having good grades?

You only see the outside of things, never what's inside. From the outside being smart and having high grades is amazing, but from the inside you don't know how much that person has done to get there. From the outside in my class I'm seen as shy and smart, from my friends I'm seen as funny, cute, kind and more. But from inside I'm broken, sad, depressed and lonely.

I wish seeing things from the inside was more common, maybe then someone could save me. Maybe then someone would know why I was always quiet in class, why I had trust issues, why I was closed off. Why I was who I was.

Maybe someone could figure out who I was, because I sure as hell didn't know.

Who was I?

"Melanie, you haven't even started working. Hurry up now, you only have 10 minutes before I'm introducing a new project."
Mrs Campbell scolded me before walking away to grab Layla's finished rapport.

I can't believe I zoned out again!

Quickly filling in questions like who I'd like to work with in this unknown project, why that person, and stuff like my strengths and weaknesses in Biology.

"Okay class, today I am going to introduce our final project before summer holiday. In this project you will be working two and two, and I'll make the pairs. This rapport you filled in doesn't assure you get him or her as your partner. It is only so I know approximately how I should pair you guys. As it is around three months left to summer holiday, this project will be very big."

Mrs Campbell continued explaining what the project was about and what she'll look at when grading us. Finally the bell rang and I quickly took my things heading towards my locker to change books before English. Two more lessons after that before lunch.

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The rest of the week was the same, nothing new or special happened other than getting bored by the same routine over and over again.

Waking up, getting ready, leaving for school, coming home, doing homework, eating and going to sleep. Although for everyday that passed it got harder to lie to my best friends. I was running out of excuses and even if I had any, I noticed that they started believing me less and less.

I had already used the period excuse, bad stomach ache, eating a large breakfast, going out to eat after school and not liking the food. I know it wasn't healthy doing this to myself and my body, but I couldn't stop!

It was like an addiction, not only could I not stop but I felt my body growing more used to it.

I wasn't as hungry as before, nor did I eat so much anymore. I easily got full and had even lost some weight!

But every advantage has it's disadvantage.

Waking up everyday was getting more difficult and I constantly had headaches. My mood was always bad, either I was sad or tired. Even fake smiling seemed like such an effort. I was ruining my body but I didn't care, my health was the last thing on my mind. I only saw the positive things.

"Sweety, have you been working out lately. You seem to have lost weight." I heard my father say while we were sitting at the table eating dinner.

"What, really?" I asked, shocked. Today was Friday which meant I'd been doing this diet for five days. I felt much lighter but when looking in the mirror I didn't see a difference. I was still fat.

"He's right. I also noticed," mom added.

"Me too, your stomach looks smaller," my sister complimented.

I looked down at myself. I still didn't see it but if they for once gave me compliments then it meant I've lost weight. The emotions I felt couldn't be described.

And it's only been one week! Imagine what I'd look like a month from now.

"Thank you." I replied shyly, going back to eating my food.

After dinner I found myself standing in front of the mirror observing my body. I still felt and looked fat but the compliments I received gave me the motivation to continue.

And they came from my family!

It wasn't over, I thought. If I keep losing weight then maybe they'll finally love and accept me. Maybe I'll finally be called beautiful.

And like that I made the decision to continue with this diet until I reached my goal, no matter what.

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Hello, my adorable little chipmunks!

I know it's going a bit fast right now but around chapter 7 not only will the chapters be longer but also more detailed.

From then the story won't be moving as fast, I promise.

Anyways not going to hold you guys, hope you enjoyed it. See you in chapter 6!

Love u❤️🐿️

~ 𝑂𝑐𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑎_𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑒

~~~

Thoughts on the outside-inside paragraph? Can you relate to how she felt in Biology with people only seeing things from the outside?

What do you think about Melanie's plan to continue with this diet? What do you think will happen to her body?

Opinions about family?

Don't forget to share, vote, comment and follow!!!