Honesty is a Concept

Part 10

Ok, this has someone having a panic attack in it...I personally don't think I have ever had a panic attack before so I don't think the description is good also WARNING mentions of self-harm. I also really need to find that chapter that mentions it so I can put a warning on that too anyway enjoy! 

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the checkup i forgot. my hand falters so does my smile, my shoulders tense my breathing gets a bit ragged. i accidentally let a pulse of magic out.that has never happened before...must be because of my soul...that's not good. in two seconds flat i feel myself being scooped up in someone's arms. i look up to see orange glowing eyes and a worried look. i feel my eye slowly glow in usion...it only took 1...1 pulse of magic to make everyone within distance worried.. i look to the side of papyrus to see grillbz with a worried look. i act confused.... "whoa bro what's wrong?" i force myself to relax. my shoulders are now relaxed, my right hand is shaking because it needs to sign. "SANS YOU LET OUT A VERY CONCERNING PULSE OF MAGIC IT HAD SO MUCH EMOTION IT MADE ME DROP MY SPAGHETTI...I HAVEN'T FELT YOUR MAGIC PULSES IN A LONG TIME. I STILL CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HIDE YOUR FEELING PULSE,BUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET ONE OUT THAT HAS SO MUCH ANXIETY...WHY ARE YOU FRIGHTENED BROTHER?" "well um.." i know why paps knew it was me because when we were kids he gave us checkups. during those checkups i would send many magic pulses of my feelings because the system we had was when i felt anything negative i would send out a pulse to tell him without actually having to speak...this was after he had mercy on us. grillbz knows because when i get drunk i can't control my feeling pulse. that's why every monster at the bar was surprised,but when they asked me i blamed it on the ketchup and alcohol. "Sans are you ok?" "y-yeah i'm fine jus-" {KNOCK KNOCK BANG BANG} "I'll get the door." they must have felt the feeling pulse...as grillbz went to open the door paps carried me over to the couch. and sat down putting me in his lap. paps let out comforting pulses of magic and used his eyelight to trigger mine and to help me calm down soon enough everyone is in the living room either sitting in kitchen chairs or just plain standing up. the kid is sitting down on the floor criss-cross applesauce. the people here are tori, asgore, grillbz, undyne, alphys, my bro, and the kid.but the monsters on the couch were me,papyrus, and grillby...i should probably tell paps i'm ok and he doesn't have to glow anymore...but before i do i look at everyone for the first time they got here. i only knew who was here by how panicked everyone was; they kept asking who the magic pulse was from...they still haven't gotten an answer. they honestly are being more patient than usual probably because of that pulse. their reactions to the colours and magic in the room, are a mix of awestruck and wonder. "hey paps can you put me on the spot next to you. you don't have to use your glow anymore." "HMMM...FINE ONLY BECAUSE WE HAVE GUESTS." as soon as he said that he put me down in between him and grillbz...wait....papyrus cornered me! "Sans?" "uh ya tori?" "Who was that magical feeling pulse from? It was only for a second,but it felt like they hadn't let out a pulse in a while the feeling crashed into me all at once...i couldn't even get a good read on it...all I got was that they felt immense anxiety..." what am i supposed to do now...i can't just say it was me they'll worry over me. *you ask what are they talking about you also ask what a feeling pulse is* "W-well a feeling p-pulse is what every monster, even the unf-fortunate monsters that don't have magic are born with a feeling pulse to signal to your friends, l-loved ones, or other monsters about th-their feelings. The m-monster can choose not to use their feeling pulse a-and no one will feel their feelings around th-them b-but they will have to stay on guard of it like holding it because monster instinct is to care for each other and to let others help you. O-or the monster can choose to just let it be a-and everyone a-around a 10 feet radius will feel their e-emotions depending how strong i-it is. *you now understand what it is. you say thank you* "Yes, that is what it means,but Papyrus why were you glowing your eyes? Does it have to do with the pulse?" "WELL MY KING...SADLY, YES I WAS GLOWING MY EYES TO HELP CALM SANS DOWN SINCE HE ONLY HAS ONE GLOWING EYE." "That was the punk's pulse!!! It was really strong!!!" "Undyne please calm down...now my friend could you please explain why your pulse was so...negative?" i can't lie without getting caught...ugh...i'll have to tell another half truth. "well um you see...i don't like checkups." i say plainly with a shrug "and i kinda forgot i was getting one, so when i remembered i accidentally let a pulse out..." "WELL THAT MAKES SENSE. YOU ALWAYS HATED IT WHEN...UMM...ODD I DON'T REMEMBER WHO...BUT WHEN WHOEVER IT WAS GAVE YOU A CHECK UP. YOU WOULD SEND OUT PULSES WHICH WERE FULL OF ANXIETY. YOU ALWAYS HAD A PHOBIA FOR CHECKUPS. I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER WHY." "there isn't one i just do. ain't i aloud to have an irrational fear? hehehe" "I-i guess b-but I never expected y-you of all people to be afraid of someth-thing this small. It just caught me by sur-surprise." "So, sans are you alright now?" "yah i'm fine grillbz i just got a bit unprepared. i couldn't take the heat." "SANS OH MY GOD!!!" "Don't think you got away with it!!! YOU'RE STILL GETTING THAT CHECKUP!!!" "i know..." that's when i feel an arm go around my shoulders. i look up and see grillbz. i feel heat coming up to my cheek bones. "Sans I can keep you company if you feel nervous." "y-/clears ?throat?/ you don't have to." "Then I will comfort you during your checkup. Alphys shall we start?" oh my god he's so sweet. "Y-yes let me just set it up!" *you whisper I ship it under your breath* d-did the kid say they ship us? more heat rises to my cheeks. *you notice sans blush has worsened you come to the conclusion that he heard you* "BROTHER I THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL KEEP YOU COMPANY AS WELL SINCE I CAN CALM YOU DOWN WITH MY GLOW." "you're so cool bro." "I KNOW NYEHEHEHEHE." "Sans my old friend have you...?" "yes, king fluffy buns paps,grillbz, and the kids all know about my eye." then i mumbled "granted it wasn't intentional..." "Well, me and Gori are still glad you aren't keeping them in the dark." oh they heard me. "Why do you keep your pulses hidden? I was meant to ask." "well, i just like it better when it's hidden,grillbz." "Hey! where is my girlfriend with the checkup supply-" "I'm b-back I'm sorry it t-took so long. I was trying to find m-my stethoscope." my shoulders went tense but then i remembered grillby's arm is still on my shoulders so i forcibly relaxed them. "cool." "Sans I have an idea..." "what is it grillbz?" "Well let your feeling pulse flow." wait why would he want me to do that a lot of things can go wrong. too many things can go wrong. "huh why?" "Because when you feel a bit afraid about something we can help you." i'm causing them trouble. it will be better if i don't... "no thanks grillbz i'll be fine." "O-ok then,first I'll check your joints. So you'll n-need to take your h-hoodie off." "I always did wonder what you looked like without your hoodie on." grillbz wonders about me...heat rises to cheeks with a vengeance. my face is probably a bright blue. "Sans your face is very blue are you alright?" "OH YES GRILLBY SANS IS OK HE JUST BLUSHING!" "paps...grillbz can you move your arm so i can take off my jacket?" "Oh yes of c-course!" as i'm removing one of my arms from inside the sleeve...i see the bandages i forgot about. shoot... well it's not that bad all i need to do is heal the...yah....and the hand plate i'll keep it wrapped up. "hey can i actually go to the bathroom first?" "o-oh of course!" i can't believe that actually worked. did they forget i'm a skeleton or something? soon i'm up the stairs and in the restroom with the door locked. i first got the stool and put it near the sink. once i'm tall enough to reach the cabinet i grab the bandages and place them to the side of the sink. now comes the hard part. i first take off the bandages and see every little and big scar and cut. And soon i see the handplate. i tried taking it off numerous times, not once did it actually work. now is the time to use healing magic....that's the hard part because i can't let them sense my aura,so i slowly start healing everything. soon enough i'll be done, just have to heal this big one. there are still scars on the bone but hopefully they're small enough that no one will notice. {Knock Knock} "Sans, what are you actually doing in there...that was a good excuse but we all just remembered that you're a skeleton." "oh grillbz i'll be out in a minute." so i quickly heal it, rewrap my right hand in bandages,put my hands in my pockets and get out of the bathroom to see grillby waiting outside the door. "hey grillbz water you doin out here?" "Waiting for you of course let's go." "let me take my hoodie off first." soon enough i take off the hoodie and look back up at grillbz. his face was the same expression he had when he realized he kept his hands on my cheeks for longer than he intended. 'cute' 'cute' did he just say i was. no must be my imagination. wait did i say that out loud. "h-hey grillbz are you comin or what." i say as i put my hands in my short pockets and start heading for the stairs. "Y-yes I'm coming!" soon we were both back on the couch, my hands in my short's pockets. that might be the only reason why no one has asked questions on the bandages 'cause they can't see 'em. "Why did you lie that you were going to the bathroom huh?!" "well technically i didn't lie i was in the bathroom except i was only washing my face since i was nappin a bit earlier." [3:54] "O-ok um let me check your shoulder bones first." i tensed a bit but only a little bit...i felt a hand grab my left hand out of my short pocket and intertwine with it and when i looked to that side and i saw grillbz...oh my god. i should really stop saying oh my god but my face is heating up soon enough i could feel alphys touch my right shoulder with one of her tools...she has a magnifying glass. welp this isn't good. i have had scars since i was a kid because of....him. but i have a lot of new ones. they're all barely visible but with magnifying glass...she's going to be able to see everything clearly. "Um S-sans where did all of these marks come from?" "Marks? Alphys what kind of marks?" "Well A-asgore from what I can s-see, these are scars but I can't figure out what caused them they're too old? I can't tell the exact time they happened because there on b-bone." "well alphys those scars are from when i was a babybones i don't remember how i got them though?" "O-ok..." i feel the tools touch my other shoulder but soon enough she's right next to the start of my right forearm. "S-sans can you please take your arm out of your pocket? I can't g-get a good look that w-way." my right hand is shaking urging me to sign...but i can't. "s-sure but let's get this wrapped up." i want to take a nap hehehe." i took my hand out and there were a few gasps so i quickly said "i'm not hurt anything i just put it on for personal reasons, so alphys can't check the joint to that hand..." "PERSONAL!!!PERSONAL!??!? I'M DONE WITH YOUR SECRETS WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND WE WANT TO HELP YOU!??!" i flinched a bit. so did paps because his feeling pulse hiccuped "calm down undyne you're going to bust a gill plus i think your gillfriend would agree that some secrets aren't meant to be shared ain't that right alph?" "Y-yes I agree...I won't take off the bandages but I'll still need to check your wrist." "ok." thankfully the scars on the bones on my wrist are faint thanks to the healing magic so soon she was asking for the hand intertwined with grillbz so i took out my hand from his and gave my hand to her so she can inspect it after she was done my hand was once again entangled with grillby's. blush dusted my cheeks. soon after she checked the bones on my legs it was time for the ribs. so i start to lift my shirt but then i remember something...the scar shoot. i ,little too quickly pull my shirt down "uh actually can we skip checking my ribs? i'm not sure i'm fully comfortable with that yet." "It will be alright Sans I'm right here with you we all are." "yah thanks grillbz b-bu-" "YAH PUNK WE'RE RIGHT HERE WITH YA!" "thanks you, b-" "Yes, my old friend me and Tori will always be there for you." *you notice Sans is moving his hands almost like sign language* *Sans looks nervous* "YES BROTHER THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL BE HERE WITH YOU ALL THE WAY!!!" *you notice Sans is shaking and is signing faster* *you quickly notice that he's getting overwhelmed* *you tell everyone to stop* "What's wrong my child?" *you tell them that they're overwhelming sans* "What! We're just trying to help him!?" i can't i can't i can't i can't nononononononononono "Ow... Sans you're squeezing my hand quite a bit...are you alright?" i got to keep the pulses in. my soul really hurts..i think i'm going into a panic attack this isn't good. but i can't show them they'll ask questions and i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't ✊i☝c☺a❤n👌'👍t "SANS ARE YOU ALRIGHT BROTHER. I'M GOING TO PICK YOU UP OK?" ✊i👆'👅m👏b👐r✋e💪a💀t👊i✋n✋g👀h👤a👆r👅d☝i👇c💣a💤n👈'✌t👈s❤p☺e👄a💦k👇s👆o☝i👏n👍o👍d👉. "I NEED YOU TO CALM DOWN OK?" ☝i👆t👇h👈i👉n✊k☺i💀'💪m 💬i❤n ✌p✌a👀p👌s👎'💦l💥a💤p✋s✊o      ✌i👈n👈o✌d👉i✊t👆s☺s👏o 👐h💀a💅r👊d👀t👤o👄b👃r✌e✋a👈t👇m👆y☺s✊o✋u👀l👄 i💪s💢b💥u👐r👅n☝i✌n❤g👀n👃o👂t👌h💀i💤s☺c👤a👆n☝'❤t💢b💪e👍h👌a👄p👎p💨e👀n✋i👀n❤g "PAPYRUS IS THIS NORMAL!??!?AND HOW IS HE STILL SMILING???" "What Undyne meant to say has this happened before?" "NO KING ASGORE...NOT FROM WHAT I CAN REMEMBER BUT I FEEL LIKE HE HAS HAD A...A PANIC ATTACK...HE'S HAVING A PANIC ATTACK!!!

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