Your What Was Missing

Chapter Twenty-One

Emily's Point Of View

I pull from the kiss, our first kiss. I look at him with a smile that wont go away but I don't want it too. We have a lot to work out but Parker is home for me, he my last chance at happiness. When he told me that we were in my hands I knew that I had him. I could never tell Parker to go away, I mean I just got him back.

"Another deal?" I smirked.

"Another deal?" He laughed at me, I realize that the deal we had talked about earlier never was actually made.

"I say therapy. You have been going since you got discharged so how about I go too and then we also go to work on us. Maybe an outsider will help? I don't want to go to therapy but I also don't want to talk to anyone else about what happened or what I have been through. I will try therapy if your willing to go to one together to fix us?" I suggested.

"But you still have to quit drinking or at least slow down. Deal?" I lean back thinking do I really want to give up my drinking for this man? Of course I do but I don't want to feel all the pain I like the numbness.

"Only if you promise to help me, I have drank a bottle to a bottle and a half since I moved here everyday. I want to get sober for you but I don't know if I want to let all that pain come in, the numbness keeps me sane." I say looking away from him, he put his fingers under my chin bringing my face up to him and I meet his eyes.

"I will always help you, we will get through this. I will do whatever I can to get you back even if that means letting it go with Jackson but I will still being having a chat with him." I shake my head at him laughing because I knew the second I said Jackson use to hit me that Parker wouldn't let it go.

"What don't laugh at me for wanting to be protective of you. I love you sweetheart." I love that nickname. I feel my cheeks turning a light pink and pull my hands to my face but he pulls them away again.

"I love you Parker." I lean into to kiss him but someone knock once then walks in and I lean back from Parker and see a very angry Mila walking in. Here we go I whisper to Parker causing him to laugh. I stand up along with Parker.

"What in the god damn world were you fucking thinking? Your drinking again?" Parker steps in front of me shielding me from my best friend.

"Mila stop, you think walking in here and bringing it up is going to help? She has been through a lot she doesn't need you to come in here and start shit up again. We were calm and collected in here and then you come in-"

"Parker its fine. Mila I know it was stupid trust me I know. I have decided to go to therapy to work it all out hopefully it works." I stand in front of Parker and Mila rolls her eyes.

"Oh so mister walk away suggest therapy and now all the sudden its a good idea. We have been asking you to go for months Em." I flinch at the walk away comment, Parker seen my discomfort and set his hands on my shoulders.

"Mila you don't think I know I needed help. I drink until I cant feel anything and you make me feel like I cant feel a certain way. I am sorry I cant talk to you about what happened, the only reason Parker knows is because he went looking for the answer and I hate that he knows. You don't think I know how fucked up I am? I see the way you guys look at me and don't get me start on how you guys have treated me since I got back." Hunter and Jackson are now standing behind Mila and Beth and Stephen are standing in the door with a confused look on their faces they must have just got back from their lunch.

"Everyone looks at me like I'm a broken toy that needs to be fixed. I hate that you guys look at me like I will fall apart if you say the wrong things. Yes I drink to numb the pain. Now that your all here to watch me fall apart once again, I will be going to therapy and I'm going to try and get sober." I seen Beth flinch when I mention my drinking. Parker pulls me back into him turning me around and cups both side of my face telling me to take a deep breath than places his forehead against mine also taking a deep breath for himself.