KNOCK OUT [LH]

Chapter 21: Boujee Lemon Water pt.1

"What can I get you gentlemen to drink?" The fancy looking waiter inquires over the sound of the violin quartet playing behind him as he flips his notepad open and clicks a pen, awaiting a reply.

Feeling my upper lip to make sure my fake mustache is still in place, I smile. "Yeah, I'll have-uh-" I cough once, lowering my voice an octave. "I'll have some of that boujee lemon water, please."

The waiter raises a skeptical brow at this as his eyes scan me over, but writes down my order regardless and turns to Calum. "And for you, sir?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Calum ponders, thoughtfully twisting the ends of his own fake mustache as he glances down at the menu over the tops of his bifocals. "I think I'll do a strawberry lemonade. Two scoops sugar, half a squeeze of lime, no seeds, exactly seven ice cubes, and a sprig of fresh mint."

I send a swift kick into Calum's shin under the table as the waiter frantically writes down the complex order. Calum jolts slightly with a wince as I shoot him an 'are you serious' face that the waiter just barely misses as he flips his notepad closed and slides the pen behind his ear, before dismissing himself.

"What was that for?" Calum sourly asks once the waiter is out of ear shot, bending down to rub his shin while I prop up the tall laminated menus around us to form a barrier and hide us from view.

"We're supposed to be undercover, and you nearly blew it with that crazy order, Cal!" I whisper yell, brushing the rose petals that litter the fancy white tablecloth aside to lean my elbows into it as I adjust the collar of the neon green button-down I had borrowed from my dad's closet earlier today.

"And your's didn't?" He fiercely whispers back, mirroring me as he leans forward as well. "Calling lemon water boujee at a five star restaurant, isn't exactly flying under the radar."

I scoff defensively at this and Calum rolls his eyes, pulling his bucket hat down further on his head.

"It comes in a funky glass, and they refill it like every five minutes—it's boujee." I start to explain. "Plus, they don't use straws here, so you know they care about saving the sea turtles."

"Yeah, well excuse me for getting into character." He dramatically gestures to his fake mustache and glasses before pointing a warning finger at me. "But you really need to step it up if you want this to actually wo-"

"Ehem."

The sound of someone clearing their throat immediately silences Calum, and the two of us peer over the menu tops to see that our waiter has returned, balancing our respective drinks and a basket of various breads and butters on a black tray. Quickly, Calum and I pull back from the table, making room for him to maneuver around the menus and set the load down.

"So what will we be having tonight?"

The waiter's patronizing glare and snooty tone makes me nervously reach for my water as he pulls out his notepad and pen once again. I swear his lip curls in disgust when he witnesses nearly half of my fake mustache detach and dunk into my water as I take a sip before quickly sticking it back down into place.

Meanwhile, Calum is frantically scouring the over priced menu for the cheapest vegetarian dish.

"I-oh-uh, well let's see...baby kale salad—shit that's thirty dollars, never mind..." Calum verbalizes his thoughts, madly flipping through the multiple pages of the menu while I set my water back down and slowly reach across the table to grab a piece of bread and take a bite.

"Why don't I give you two another minute." The waiter states, snapping his notepad closed again and spinning on his heel, giving us no time to reply as he mumbles something inaudible under his breath.