Second Chances [Lesbian]

Chapter 4

"I'm supposed to be 'taking it easy'.. so I was going to put on a good chick flick. If that sounds like something fun to do on your day off.."

"That sounds perfect to me." She stood up and stretched. In the moment, I was glad my slightly trembling hands were submerged in soapy water. "Could you point me to the bathroom?"

"Of course. If you go down the hall, it'll be the first door on your right."

While she was gone, I quickly finished cleaning up and tried to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do here. There was an attractive woman in my house. A woman, who I had just admitted.. to myself.. that I had a crush on. I'd never had a woman in my house Well, besides my ex-wife.. Did I even remember how to flirt? Should I flirt?? What were we going to talk about? What was I doing?? I once again, felt completely out of my mind.

Admittedly, I didn't have much experience with what I was feeling. I'd known at a young age that I liked girls. That part had been easy. But I'd mostly kept to myself; middle school, high school and almost all of college. I read a lot, I stayed behind my camera lens and I really sucked at being social. I had a couple of casual girlfriends in high school, but I'd never been in love. Then I met Whitney just before I graduated college. She'd walked into the small bookstore where I was working at the time and talked to me. Then she kept coming back. We would talk about our favorite books, music, movies and then one day she asked if I wanted to go grab some coffee. I was naive and had agreed easily. She was so easy to talk to, that I often forgot my awkwardness.

It wasn't until the third time we'd "grabbed coffee" that I realized that I looked forward to seeing Whitney. She finally asked me to dinner one night and within a few weeks I was completely infatuated. She was smart, driven and she was interested in me. What followed had been a whirlwind of dating to moving in, to proposing, to marriage and within two years, to Eliza being born. So many people used to be so fascinated by our "love story".

It only made me cringe now. I'd never dated as an adult or been with anyone else. So now, I panicked. Was it even normal to crush on a woman you knew nothing about in your 30s? Oh God.. was I super shallow to be crushing on her because she was.. well, beautiful? But no, that wasn't the only reason. I had also seen her be a thoughtful daughter, a take charge, but also extremely caring person and so very compassionate. And that was only in the few times I'd interacted with her. I shook my head. Yes, definitely crazy to rationalize your crush to yourself while standing in the middle of your kitchen.

By the time she walked back out to the living room, I'd settled myself on the couch, remote in hand.

"So, our contenders are.. Steel Magnolias, can't deny a classic.. or we can go totally 90s and watch Clueless. Final choice is Beaches, but I have to warn you that I sob every single time."

She sat right next to me, though the whole rest of the couch was completely unoccupied. "Those are great choices.. can I throw a few options in?"

I nodded and turned to face her.

"I'm throwing in Dirty Dancing.. also a classic. Bridesmaids because I can quote it in my sleep and it never gets old.. or.. Miss Congeniality, because have you seen Sandra Bullock?"

Okay, so she'd at least hinted a bit. Maybe. Or maybe it was wishful thinking because any person with eyes could see that Sandra Bullock was a gorgeous human being.

"You just made this a lot harder. How are we going to pick?"

"Okay, I need a piece of paper and a pen."

I grabbed a pad and a pen from the end table and handed them to her. Her long slender fingers were perfectly manicured.

"Okay, I wrote each choice on a slip of paper. We'll shuffle them around and pick. Easy" She shook the slips around in her cupped hands and then held them out to me. I carefully chose one and opened it.