Second Chances [Lesbian]

Chapter 9

Leaning against her kitchen sink with my arms around her, face flushed with my hair a mess wasn't where I thought I would be, but I certainly wasn't complaining. When our laughter died down, she'd kissed me again lightly.

I felt like now that everything had been unleashed, I couldn't get enough. I had to concentrate hard to reign myself in when her lips had traveled across my cheek, nuzzling her nose there before they hovered by my ear. Her breath on my ear made my knees buckle. As much as I wanted nothing more than to take her and explore every inch of her body right then and there, I knew I needed to put on the brakes.

Seriously? Right now? That's what we're doing?

With reluctance, I cleared my throat and loosened my hold on her, looking up into her eyes. They were so stunning this close. Like a stormy sea that at the moment mirrored my own desire. I also saw an understanding that made me feel at ease. She shifted her weight just a bit so she wasn't pinning my body anymore.

"That was definitely worth the wait." Her voice was still low, and she swiped her thumb over my lower lip before cradling my chin. I smiled and pressed my cheek into her hand. There was so much I didn't know, but in the moment, it didn't matter.

I didn't have a great track record with things moving too fast. I knew this wasn't the same, but it still made me hesitate. This is what I wanted. It's what I'd been conflicted about for days. Though there was a nagging in the back of my mind that threatened to take over, telling me that I was bound to make the same mistake again, I silenced it.

"It was," I let out a slow breath, "it really was." My heart rate had finally started to slow. "Now will you let me help?" I teased.

She gave a playful eye roll. "If you insist." She moved her body away and I saw her take a deep breath, running her hand through her hair. I enjoyed seeing her look as out of control as I felt around her.

With my back to her, my hands in soapy water, I broke the small silence that had settled as we began cleaning up. "I thought of something. Attention to detail. I think that's one of my skills."

Saying it out loud was interesting. What I had often thought of as a flaw. "Stop being such a perfectionist", "Why does that matter?", "Can you stop trying to organize everything?" The familiar phrases tumbled around in my head, but therapy had been helping me.

I had been meeting with my therapist regularly for the past year or so. Though it had been my own idea, I spent most of the first few sessions giving short, one-word answers. Once I finally let my guard down, I'd been surprised at how much I actually had to say. I remembered something she'd told me during a session that played in my head often. "You can be done with a person, or a relationship, but still be affected by the impact it made on who you are."

"I think that's a great one," Cameron's voice wasn't mocking, she was genuine. She stood next to me and handed me a dish. "I think it's weird you wanted to do dishes, though."

I threw a smile her way. I was okay with weird. Little did she know that dishes were the farthest thing from my mind. It was simply a way to keep my hands busy because a woman had only so much restraint.

Later that night, I lay awake in bed, torturing myself by replaying our kiss in my head. It was driving me crazy, but it was there every time I closed my eyes. The way she looked, the way she tasted and sounded. I'd never felt desire like this before. I let it take over all my senses as I finally gave in to sleep.

***

Waking up with a smile on my face the next morning felt fresh and new. It had been a while since I'd felt like my life was headed in the right direction. I could never be completely sure, but after sleeping on it, it still felt right.