Second Chances [Lesbian]

Chapter 23

I was ready to try my best to make it up to Eliza. After I'd picked her up, we couldn't get into the house quick enough. She was so excited to get into all of her presents.

I leaned against the doorway and smiled at her, though inside my heart still held a strong ache. I closed my eyes and listened to her squeals of excitement about all of the things I'd been collecting slowly throughout the year. Things I knew she'd love. Finding the right gift was one of my favorite things to do.

"I love this!" She shrieked, holding up the 3D lamp that looked like the moon. "You can change the colors with a remote!"

I smiled at her. "I think it'll look great in your room, Bug."

"Can I video chat with Lola on my tablet? Please? I want to show her everything."

"Sure, kiddo. I'll go start getting stuff ready for dinner, okay?"

"Yes!" She ran to her bedroom to grab her tablet and I walked to the kitchen.

I started pulling out the ingredients I needed for one of her favorites.. pizza quesadillas. Struggling with a jar of sauce, my phone went off. My heartbeat instantly quickened and I hesitated before reaching for it.

Today hasn't felt right without you

I blinked back quickly at the tears that instantly pricked my eyes. Though I would have loved nothing more than to share the day with both her and Eliza, I had ruined it. It wasn't her fault, but I had to focus on fixing things. My fingers skimmed across the screen.

I'm sorry for today. I let my emotions spiral out of control. You didn't deserve that

I turned to continue with dinner and then the phone buzzed with her name on the screen. I took a breath before answering.

"Hi.."

"Hey you." Her voice was so soothing.

"It's really good to hear your voice." I leaned back against the countertop.

"I feel the same way. Are you with E?" She asked softly.

"Yeah.. I-umm, it's still messy, but she's with me. She loved her presents and after dinner I'm taking her ice skating."

"Was she super upset?"

"Actually, she really didn't seem upset. Whitney told her that an emergency came up.." I rubbed the back of my neck. "While I'm grateful she did that, it makes me feel incredibly guilty."

"Ren, it was an honest mistake."

"I know.. I just- she plays a large part in the consequences for my mistakes." I squeezed my eyes shut.

"That's not fair."

"It's not, but it's unfortunately true. When I decided to walk away, I knew this was a possibility and I thought I could do whatever it took to keep Eliza from being affected any more than she had to be."

"I know you love her more than anything, but you also can't shield her from everything. She should never be used as a pawn-"

"I know that." My tone sounded a lot harsher than I intended, so I paused before continuing. "I just didn't think about what things would look like in the future. I didn't expect to- It's all new. Trying to figure out how to balance this new life with my old life. Trying to not let Whitney have any more control than she's allowed, and trying not to cause Eliza any unnecessary stress or upset." There was a long pause. "I told you it was a lot of baggage." I bit my lip, my voice low.

"Can I ask you something?" Her voice was steady.

"Of course."

"What do you want, Ren? What do you need?"