"I'm just trying to do right"

Chapter One Brenda

My name is Javion Payne. I am a 27 year old black man trying to do right. I have a fiancée (Brenda), 2 girls (Lisa and Kareen) and 3 boys (Trevon ,Wayne, and Javion Jr.). My fiancée is the best thing that ever happened to me. I just want her to believe in me....

We met in 1999, Fall time in North Charleston, SC. I was selling a dime bag (drugs) for my friend Josh. I remember the first time I saw her. She had these nice big hoop earrings on and a short pink leather dress. She was walking with her stupid friend Sasha Carley. "Girl you need a man to take care of you like my man." Sasha said in snobby tone. "A man that beats me" Brenda whispered. I figured I have never hit a woman. Except for the time I hit that girl that looked like a dude. I can swear that was a dude.

Anyway, I walked up to Brenda and said the stupidest thing a man can say. "Hey , I am Javion. I heard your looking for a real MAN, that won't beat you." Brenda turned around and slapped the living life out of me. "So you think because I'm a girl I NEED a man, well baby let me tell you something I don't." She was furious with me but, I knew I needed a girl like her in my life plus she had some nice curves. "Brenda, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. Wanna go out? I am a really good guy!" She look me up and down, I can tell she was looking at my muscular arms and neck. Finally she said "yea, baby", I have never been so happy!

I took her downtown and we went sightseeing. “I have lived here all my life and never been here or to the harbor” says Brenda. “My mom used to take me here all the time when I was a kid” I said. She asked “I know she died but… how?” A tear fell out my eye “My dad killed her”. Before I knew it I had a huge wet spot on my shirt from my tears. “I’m so sorry” She said sadly. “I don’t know what happened” I said. “I came home from school did all my work. I was on the Honor Roll. Mom was in the kitchen and dad was on the couch. Then I heard my dad saying “Why don’t you do what I say” and (tears fell rapidly) “Then, a gun went off”. “I ran into the kitchen to see my mom with a pool of blood surrounding her head. Then, my dad fell over my mom and started crying. I can still hear him screaming “I’m sor…”.” Before I knew it I shot my father in the middle of him saying “I’m sorry”.

“I’m so sorry” Brenda said sadly. “Here let me help you”, she dabbed my face and shirt with a tissue. “Sorry, you know every G has a moment.” I said trying to hide the tears and be cool. “You don’t have to hide yourself for me” Brenda said with an uplifting voice. “Look, I like you and don’t want you to hide your sensitively emotions.” The way we looked at each other was like a scene of a movie, and then we kissed! The rest is history…