Wha-if rockstars went to boarding school

Chapter 23: just fucking stop

Nikki Sixx

I've mostly come down from the high. Key word: mostly. I hate it, but I realize that I need to be at least slightly sober to apologize to Tommy. He seemed upset earlier, and I feel bad.

"Tommy, honey, I'm so sorry." I say from the doorway, watching the man who leans against it with a careful eye. The words seem to slip out of my mouth as if I have no control over them. My hands have started to slightly shake and I shove them in my pocket.

He gets off the bed, loping over to me. "Why Nikki, why do you do it?" He asks, his voice trembling slightly.

"I don't know." I lie.

But I do know. Heroin is a reliable high. It's a distraction. From my thoughts. Heroin makes me feel better, even if just for a little while.

Plus, it's not like I'm addicted or anything.

It's been a couple of hours since your last hit.

Just one more won't hurt.

Hurry this shit up with Tommy.

He's just trying to distract you.

One more.

You're coming down.

You need more Sixx.

"Nikki?" Tommy asks, his large, warm hand on my shoulder.

At the sound of his voice, the thoughts that were strangling me a second ago, seem to flee, to the darkest corners of my mind. Hiding their pointy teeth and weapons.

"Yeah?" I ask, looking at his large, emotional brown eyes. They seem to swim with relief. I made him so worried. Fuck. I don't want to deal with this.

I swipe my long hair back into my face. I'm still able to see, but it's an added layer of protection. To hide. To escape. It's a barrier.

"Just- please don't do it anymore Sixxy." Tommy pleads. SIXXY?!

Boy. No.

"I won't." I concede. But I know somewhere deep inside me, that that's a lie.

He wraps his arms around me in a bone crushing hug, kissing me straight on the lips. I love the way he is, a wild child, who is immature, but so caring. Tommy is so adorable. I-I- Nevermind.

"How about we go finish what we started?" I whisper in his ear, his hair softly brushing my lips. "Are you sure?" He asks. I nod, and take his hand. We walk out, and it's only when I hear encouraging shouts of:

"GET IT T-BONE!"

"PRIDE!!"

And,

"WAIT HES GAY?!"

Then I realize that his friend and his friends roommates were in the room. I blush darkly. The second we get back to the room, I'm flat on the bed as Tommy gets on top of me.

He attacks my neck with kisses and I can feel the excitement growing. Along with something else.

My brain still won't shut the fuck up however.

He wants you for sex.

Everybody does.

Face it Sixx, without being high off your ass, you're nothing to these people. Everybody.

You need that high

They need that high.

Tommy cares, or does he?

This is all some clever trick for him to get into your pants.

My mind shudders at this, and my body tenses slightly as Tommy pulls down my pants gently. He notices, because he looks me in the eye.

"Hey baby it's okay. I'm gonna make you feel special. I care about you Nikki." He soothes, peppering the insides of my thighs with soft kisses, his hair brushing across my legs softly.

Well here we go again. I'm going to need a huge hit after this. I'm falling in love with Tommy, but sex still kind of scares me.