Wha-if rockstars went to boarding school

Chapter 43: The Story So Far

Nikki Sixx

To say I don't know whats going on would be an understatement. I can't feel my own body, and my brain is bouncing around from total darkness, into a blinding light.

I can vaguely hear things. For instance, a woman frantically screaming; "WE LOST HIM!"

"NO PULSE!"

"Pericardiocentesis!"

"HE'S NOT BREATHING! POSSIBLE HYPOXIA!!!"

And yet I feel none of this. I can only watch as my body is gutted open, pieces of metal slowly being removed from me. I see every vein and holy shit thats a lot of places I didn't know I could inject into.

I feel powerless to stop as tubes are shoved down my lifeless throat. This produces blood from the tube. Is this what being dead feels like?

Do you watch as you die? And wheres my ride to hell? I don't deserve to go to heaven. I don't deserve it.

I continue to watch, noticing Tommy is no longer there. They try vigorously, but I notice that me being revived, is getting harder and harder.

The image starts to fade. The darkness consumes me. I can't hear anything. I can't see anything. I can't feel anything. Only deafening silence, smothering me like a thick blanket.

Well I'm a paralyzed soul and I don't know where to go.

And I should open my eyes.

Open my eyes.

But I can't.

Tommy Lee

I wait anxiously for the doctors answer and if he takes any longer I think i'm going to need a defibrillator.

"Well he made it through the initial operation." The doctor says cautiously.

I jump a little. But something doesn't exactly sound right.

"Initial operation?" I ask.

"You see, when bullets penetrate, they bloom and explode, sending fragmented pieces throughout the wound."

Uhhh...english please?

Although I understand enough to know that the bullet tore his body apart.

"His veins also seemed brittle, barely held together. We weren't able to retrieve all of the bullet. Fluid and blood accumulated around his heart. Then there was the blunt force trauma of being beaten and raped." The doctor continues.

I nod along, waiting for him to tell me I can see Nikki. He drones on for a couple more minutes, finally telling me the floor, which is the ICU.

I make my way to the ICU floor, my legs feeling like they're going to give out with every step.

What if he doesn't remember me?

What if he has something else wrong?

What if this makes his addiction worse?

That one hits me like a ton of bricks, and I quite literally tumble over in the hallway. My heart is racing faster than my mind on Cocaine.

I know that heroin is sometimes used as pain medication. What if the pain of recovery makes him feel the need to take more heroin? If this makes it worse, he could overdose again!!!

I lean my head against the hallway wall. I'm trying to collect and gather my thoughts, but they keep fluttering away like butterflies. "Are you alright?" A mans voice says. I feel a comforting hand on my shoulder.

He's an older man with a gray beard and silver hair. He has kind blue eyes, ones that look deeply concerned. "Uh yeah- I- I-I'm trying- trying to find the I-ICU." I respond, sounding pathetic.

"Oh I know where that is." He replies cheerfully, helping me up from the floor and pointing me to the correct ward. I search for Nikki, the rooms all seeming the same to me.

I stop outside one with the curtains drawn tightly. 'Feranna, Frank' the sign reads. 12/23.

It's him. I let the nurse know I'm here for him, and walk inside. I'm still trembling. He looks dead. He doesn't look like the man I fell in love with.

His face is pale, nasty bruises already spreading across it. His hospital gown, half open, revealing a nasty suture wound. He has a tube shoved into his throat, his mouth gaping open.

Tubes and wires are hooked into him. He looks like some kind of experiment. The beeping seems to be getting louder.

I move a chair by his bedside and flop uncomfortably in it. I go to hold his hand, stopping dead in my tracks when I see the IV. I don't want to hurt him.

My phone is blowing up. Probably from my parents.

The rest of the night is uneventful...until about 3 am.