Compulsion

Chapter 4

A shiver runs through my body, touching every cell. My knees are shaking, and my legs can't hold me anymore. I have no idea where to put my hands, how to behave, what to order. I try not to look around, not to look for him. I try not to think about the things I will do after dinner. Anyway, I know it very well.
I came first, took my place in a separate room of the expensive restaurant and took the menu. What should I order? Should I do it at all? Should I better wait for my companion? I didn't ask Alice, and she didn't explain it. She said that everything would go its own way, I just had to keep the conversation going and avoid eating too much. I should better eat later, at home.
'Hello. Will you place an order or wait for your companion?' a young waitress helps me to make the decision.
'Thank you, I'd better wait for my companion,' I give her back the menu with the strange names of the dishes.
The girl gives me an appraising look, pays attention to the expensive dress from Alice's collection, which fits me nicely, and walks away with her chin held high. Now I understand why Alice mentioned envy.
Ten minutes later, I ask for a glass of water, trying to calm my excitement and moisten my throat. I still hope that the meeting will not take place, that the man will cancel it, or... No, it won't do. I'll never make money then. I have to relax, stop overthinking and avoid making plans for the future.
'Donatella?' a hoarse voice sounds over my head. It's neither deep nor high-pitched. I would even call it nice. However, it makes me startle in surprise.
My lungs absorb the smell of tobacco mixed with citrus notes. The fragrance is unusual but not disgusting. It might have been worse. The man leaves a wet mark of his kiss on my cheek and sits in front of me.
I won't call him a handsome, but he looks fine. He is a bit chubby, with a pot belly, but it's not too big. He doesn't look too fat, but he's old enough to be my father. I bet he looked great in his thirties, and now... Well, he looks fine.
'Don't pay attention to his appearance, think about his money,' Alice's words are emerging in my head, and I calmly exhale. This is my job.
'Good evening,' I greet the man politely. 'Jared.'
Phew, I remember the name!
'I hope you did not have to wait too long.'
Sure, it took me just a half an hour. I wonder if he's been looking at me from the corner for all this time, or whether he's really late.
The same waitress brings us the menu and wine list and leaves us alone, giving me another condescending look. Bitch! I'm already worried, and she's only making it worse.
'You are nervous', it is not a question but a statement of fact. 'Relax, we're just having a dinner.'
With some extra...
But it's better not to think about it, about what will happen in an hour or two, when our stomachs are full, and we are in a luxury apartment of an expensive hotel.
'OK', I manage to put a smile on my face. It seems to work, but my knees are still shaking.
The waitress takes our order and leaves. Jared picked a dish for me. I am fine with it. Anyway, I can hardly read all these names of dishes.
'Tell me about yourself.'
What did Alice say about it? 'You shouldn't tell them truth about yourself, darling.' I shouldn't mention neither my university, nor the death of my parents, nor my brother, who desperately needs my help.
'I study law,' I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind.
'What's your year of study?'
'I am a graduate.'
'Interesting...'
Wine is brought to us and poured into glasses.
'Do you undergo a training? In what company?'
I have no idea! I'm not a damn lawyer and I'm not going to be one! I had to prepare in advance for the detailed interrogation. Alice warned me. Heck!
'I haven't thought about it yet.'
'I have a law office. You may come if you want. I'll find a position for you to start.'
I wonder how he imagines it. We have a dinner, have sex, and then I'll work quietly in front of him, as if nothing has happened? Really? That sounds crazy, doesn't it?
But Jared keeps cool. He smiles, looking into my eyes, and then takes his glass filled with wine and clinks it with mine.
'Well, let's drink to our meeting. I hope we'll both enjoy it.'
Oh my. I'm sick. Come on, Lo, get your shit together!
'Chin-chin!'
I take a little sip, tasting the wine, and then drink deep. It will make it easier to bear the fall, to go against myself and let a stranger to touch my body.
Jared carefully watches me with his narrowed gray eyes. He looks down at my cleavage, revealing my big breasts, at my long neck decorated with a small pendant. At my lips, that I bite involuntarily. Due to fear. Due to tension. And due to uncertainty.
'Have you ever been told that you are very beautiful?'
Yes. Hundreds of times. Compliments don't make my cheeks blush. I try not to look into his hungry eyes. In general, I try not to look at him at all. I ignore his glances. I do whatever it takes not to screw up and play my part perfectly.
'No...'
He smiles at me, and I notice his snow white teeth. I don't see it, I feel it. I tremendously want to get out of here. To escape from the frightening eyes of Jared. I need to gather my strength. Overcome fears. I have no choice. Damn, I have to do it! I have to do it again and again recently, but there is no other way.
'Let's go.' It sounds more like a sentence than an offer.
'But we haven't had a dinner yet.'
'I'll ask them to bring it into our room.' The man rises from his seat and offers me his hand.
I hesitantly put my hand in his slightly wrinkled one. His hand is rough and calloused. I follow him. I follow my fate that I cannot escape.