Compulsion

Chapter 4.1

Jared takes my coat from the cloak room and leads me to the elevator that takes us up. The second floor. The third floor. I look carefully at the electronic numbers on the tableau, pretending that I don't care at all about the forbidden proximity of a man. If the elevator weren't transparent, he would rape me right here. Keep breathing. Calm down. Take it easy.
This has to happen.
The elevator stops with an odd sound, making me shudder. Goosebumps are running over my skin as Jared hugs my waist and leads me to the door of a luxury apartment.
'Welcome.'
I freeze in the doorway. No, I'm not looking around – I've got enough when I came to Alice's apartment, but I can't take a step forward. I'm still standing in the dark hallway, looking at Jared's back in black business suit. He glances at me briefly, reached into his vest pocket, takes out an envelope, and puts it on the coffee table. Like in the movies. I wish I could push a pause button and stop it. Either forward or to the grave.
'There's a thousand pounds here,' he says calmly. 'You'll get the rest after the night.'
I just nod my head. I can't say anything right now, not even a simple 'okay.'
'Come here, don't be afraid,' he sits down on the bed and taps the place by his side.
Easy to say, but it makes me shiver. Awareness of what is happening does not allow me to relax. Even thoughts about my brother do not help a lot. Heck!
Come on, Lo, force yourself. You have to overcome it. Step over your pride, over the uncertainty and oddity of the circumstances. You have to plunge into this dirt. You'll wash it off later. Probably.
I take a step. Another step. The sound of my heels is muffled by the soft carpet, and my feet reflexively move me toward the man. To his net. To his eyes, devouring my body. He watches me walking like a lousy temptress. Well, okay, I have nothing to do with a temptress. Damn! I almost twisted my ankle walking on Alice's heels.
I remember the blondie told me that a girl should take the lead. But how? Should I sit on the lap of the fat man, hug and kiss him? Easy, Lo. Come on. You can handle it.
I try to give him a sinful smile without taking my eyes off him. As if we are going to a long night of love. I hope it will work out. Judging by the nod of approval, I hit the bull's-eye. I lean on his shoulders, sit on his lap, face to face, and reach for his lips. I close my eyes, barely touching his rough skin. His light stubble prickle my cheeks. Well... It's not that disgusting. I guess so. My lips keep moving. I feel his response. We are rubbing our bodies as if getting used to each other.  But then...
He abruptly throws me on the bed and forces himself on top of me. Hey! By the way, you are a big boy! But I doubt he's going to listen to me right now. He presses my lips against mine. The man is not as delicate as he was before, he is rude and tough.
Jared takes all the oxygen off my lungs, draining the life out of me. His hands slide down my legs, over my thighs, around my waist, and stop at the cleavage, on my breasts, and he shamelessly continues to stick his tongue into my mouth. Drool... His drool runs down my chin.

'You have great boobies. Natural ones,' his mouth moves lower to my neck, his tongue circles around my clavicle, travels between my big breasts, and the man's hands immediately pull them out of the dress. He crumples my breasts. Twists my nipples.
I don't think about the expensive dress that can be screwed, or about the lipstick that may smudge all over my face. I don't even think about my acquaintances who I can meet on my way back home. They will see me in a luxury dress and coat instead of my favorite hoodies and old jacket. I wish I could melt into the ground. I wish I could just disappear. Sit on the sidelines and watch a naughty girl, lying in the bed and bearing unpleasant caresses of a stranger.
And then, when the hell was over, I would leave the apartment.
But there is a drawback. The naughty girl is me, and I have nowhere to go.
'Let's see how beautiful you are in-there.'
No! Please, not there! Please! Could you do it later?
Our passionate hug is interrupted by an incoming call. His iPhone is ringing. Mine is in vibration mode.
'What the hell do they want?' the man mumbles, reluctantly getting up from me, goes to the nightstand where he left his phone. 'Yes! What do you mean? Are you kidding?'
An agitated squeaking voice, probably a woman's one, sounds from the phone, and then my one-night lover frowns and blurts out:
'I'll be right there!'
He throws the phone next to me, hissing angrily under his breath. I hear him swearing. With dirty, disgusting words. I still cannot wrap my mind around it.
'Sorry, darling, I have to go. Let's have a drink next time!'
I keep silent. I'm still lying in the bed, just like before. Unable to get out of bed to look at the man's face and make sure he is serious. That he is not kidding. That his drool won't smear my face again. I want to wipe it off, but I don't dare do it when he is around.
'The room is booked until tomorrow morning. You may stay here if you want,' he comes up to me. Again. And I want to move back. But we are not going to have sex, right? He told it. 'See you soon, darling,' corners of his lips are slightly raised when he gives me a brief kiss.
He leaves, slamming the door and leaving the key card on the envelope on the coffee table. Jared didn't pay the rest. We didn't have sex. But I don't care. Fuck them all!