'Are you crazy? Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into?' Andrew shouts at the top of his voice. I feel like a child. Inexperienced and naughty.
Yes, I know it very well. I knew it from the start, but I never thought about the consequences. About unpleasant and disgusting consequences. But failed sex with a stranger is only a small part of the pain that hits my most vulnerable place. My chest. My heart.
'He's dying, Andrew.'
I still sob, thinking about my conversation with the doctor. I look into my friend's eyes, sitting in his t-shirt after a shower, trying to find at least a drop of sympathy. But I have none. No sympathy at all. It is no use, tears will not help, but this is the only way to relieve my mind.
'Are you willing to fuck ugly fat men for his sake?'
'I need money! Got it? I won't make that much money in a restaurant.'
'He isn't worth it!'
'Get off his back!' now it's my turn to flush with indignation and hit the ceiling at the most inappropriate moment. 'I know you two had a fight, but you shouldn't mind it now! Adam is my brother and I will never leave him in the lurch.'
My friend keeps silent. Another flood of tears covers my face, and despair gives me a few slaps, reminding me once again of what I have become. But it won't work out. I can't save Adam this way. Time is merciless.
It has power over us.
'Hush, hush,' Andrew says, holding my weak body against his and gently stroking my long hair. It is almost soothing. I remember he used to do the same at school, when our classmates bullied me and did not let me go into the field.
He's always around when I'm feeling bad, he always find a thousand reasons why I shouldn't shed tears for nothing. Always. But not now, when it comes to my brother.
'Hi, Lo,' Andrew's roommate Alex rushes into the small apartment. Well, he's almost a roommate. 'Hi, honey,' he comes up to his friend and kisses him briefly on the lips. All these lovey-dovey things, just like always. 'Why are you crying?'
'Adam is dying,' Andrew explains. Even indifferent voice of my friend sounds a bit sad.
'Is that the one who...'
'Yes.'
YOU ARE READING
Compulsion
Romance'I paid a good deal of money for you. I hope your brother is doing better.' I have no idea. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, and I am on my knees before you... 'What do you want me to do?' I ask in a trembling voice, touching the blindfold. My...
