Compulsion

Chapter 6.1

It's not about the thousand pounds that is still in my purse, but with the amount I have to pay for my brother's surgery. I have to get the money somewhere. Fortunately, I have a day-off today. I didn't have time to quit, although Alice insisted on the idea. I hesitate to call Mel and tell her about it.
Why the hell is it so hard? Why did it happen to us? Why does Adam have to fight for his life? Who decided that he has to undertake the challenge?
Fuck!
A wave of tears washes over me again when I think of what we went through during the months of treatment, how we fought, and what we planned to do after his recovery. We were going to France, we were going to visit Disneyland, ride the roller coaster as we used to do when we were kids, gorge ourselves with ice cream, bask in the sunshine, and enjoy our lives.
We believed in a better outcome, at least I believed in it, and now the hope has gone, just like our parents.
Why?
Should I really sell my kidney? Why not? It's not cheap, and I'm willing to share it, and Adam will stay alive. He won't leave me alone, he'll always be there for me. We will celebrate the next birthday together, as before. I should call Dr. Connor and check whether we can arrange this as soon as possible.
I type my password, and the first thing I see is the incoming message alert from the escort website. A message. Really? Someone has taken my bait! Is it true? Is he willing to pay a lot of money to enjoy my body? Unbelievable!
Anonymous: 'It looks like you need money. We can help each other, but I have a condition,' I read the message on my profile, wiping away unbidden tears with a napkin. Heck!
I can't stop thinking about Dr. Connor's call. Salty drops are flowing down my cheeks. I don't have time to wipe them off. My room suddenly becomes cramped. Everything around changes, the space shrinks to a small, 3 feet by 3 feet square with no windows or doors. The utter darkness grips me again, the darkness that has been embracing me since last night.
A tiny ray of hope suddenly pierces the darkness. This is my last chance.
I: 'What condition?'
Anonymous: 'You must follow all my instructions, obey me despite your wishes. No complaints or protests are allowed.'
If I were able to think clearly, this 'condition' would make me mad.
'Should I lick your boots as well?' I tell to myself, but my response has nothing to do with my thoughts:
I: 'What if I don't accept your offer?'
I ask the question out of curiosity. I have nothing to lose. Everything has been taken away, or is being taken away.
But...
I immediately receive notification 'Add funds to your account! The requested amount twice exceeds the limit. How could he know my credit card number? Oh, sure, I gave my payment details on the website. It must have slipped my mind. Why is he willing to pay so much? He doesn't grudge it, really? What if I get the money and delete my account?
Damn it, I've got thirty thousand pounds on my card! It would be enough not only to pay for the surgery and subsequent rehabilitation, but also to recoup for non-pecuniary damages due to the fall.
Anonymous: 'What would you say?'
Another message arrives, and my response is predictable. I don't want to do it, but I have to.
I: 'When?'
Anonymous: 'Wait a sec. Give me your phone number and I'll send you instructions.'
My number? What for? Alice told me to avoid giving my phone number. Texting is more than enough to settle the issues. I wonder who is this Anonymous. What an odd user name. But all my thoughts fade into the background, giving way to excitement. There are no photos, and his profile is not filled. He didn't even give his name. But it doesn't really matter since he gave my brother and me a chance to have a normal life. At least it's a great chance for Adam. As for me...
What will happen to me after this 'date'? Should it be only one date?
Number unknown: 'You have half an hour to get to this place.'
That's the answer to everything.
The first message arrives five minutes after I agreed to this madness. But I was ready, I anticipated it. I had a feeling. He is unlikely to put off our meeting. That was to be expected, but...
It's too soon.
I put on a pencil skirt that I haven't taken out of the wardrobe for years, and an ivory blouse. I can't force myself to take Alice's dress after the slobbering kisses. What if the client is picky? He can reject me and grab the money back.
By the way,
since there's time, and Adam still has a chance to survive, I should text Dr. Connor to ask the hospital payment details and transfer the money. He confirms the payment and promises that Adam will have the surgery tomorrow. Done. My soul is now at peace. Now I can take all sorts of risks and put myself in the hands of a man who does not mind paying a stranger thirty thousand.
I put on Alice's boots. No makeup, no perfume. At the last second before leaving, I glance at myself in the mirror. I look at the dark circles under my eyes, at my nose swollen from crying. Maybe I shouldn't. What if I don't get out alive?
I must do it. Think about him.