Rasa nak menangis,
Rasa nak meraung,
Hati tak habis merintih,
Ingin meminta tolong.
Penatnya otak melarat satu badan,
Seperti tidak sanggup lagi untuk bertahan.
😭😭😭😭
Entering my 5th year as a medical student. And it ain't easy at all.
The feeling to quit medical student getting stronger.
Now i know the feeling of some people why they quit medical school eventhough they almost finish it.
5 years not a short duration. It is a VERYYYY LONGGG PATHWAY. I heard it before but I never understand it. Because people always say, 5 years will finish in a blink of eye.
But!
Not for me. It is indeed a very long and challenging pathway.
And now entering 5th year, the pressure is getting higher and higher. 😭😭😭
I don't know how to keep myself positive more. I do pray, i do cry in solat, i do telling Allah of my problems and ask for solution.
I know He will give the solution but right now, i'm really at the lowest stake of my iman. I kept crying and crying when i think about my study.
I kept feeling jealous and anxious seeing other people doing well. My anxiety getting bad. 😭😭😭 Afraid of the future.
What should i do??!!
At some level, i don't know anymore what am i doing here. Why am i pursuing medicine. Because i don't think i'm a good medical student.
I'm afraid of Profesional Exam.
I'm afraid thinking how i will treat my patient in future. 😭😭
I'm afraid that i will kill people without intention because of misdiagnosis/wrong treatment.
May Allah forbid all that.
Please pray for me if you are reading this. Your pray is matter to me. 😢
I'm loosing my motivation right now. People never know how struggle am I try to confine my anxiety from getting worsen.
How i try to embrace myself everytime i think of exam because i had phobia due to fail miserably in exam in 3rd year.
It is an exam of history taking and examination of the patient. How can i be a Dr if i fail that exam.
It is a crucial thing for a doctor to be good in taking history and do physical examination. But i failed that before. For few times not once.
I kept losing myself everytime i failed. 😢
Allah, please grant me patient and passion to pursue my studies and to become a doctor.
To all the other students out there who thinking to pursue in medical field. Please think carefully before you proceed. It is not a problem-free journey, not an easy pathway. You need to sacrifice a LOT of things.
Find your ultimate reason why you want to be a doctor before you proceed because if you lose you motivation at middle of the journey, you still hold on to you uktinate reason. It will keep pushing you to finish medic school.
If not, you'll be miserable
