I wish I were Kiyoko ~ TanaNoya

Wishfull Thinking

First Person| Yū Nishinoya

'While I die'

I'm walking to the bus stop alone, the other members of my team are out practicing while I'm here.. running from my problems. I'd have to eventually go back to face him head on. But how, what happens if he doesn't understand me.

I know he might not end up resenting me. But that's still where my mind goes. Everyone deep down inside probably hates me. I'm not truly special in anyway... just because I'm an upperclassman to Shoyo doesn't mean he's not superior to me. He's got more guts and courage then I'll ever have.. those are just the facts .

I can't even keep my own feelings to myself.. volleyball was my safe space, but not when he was there. I don't look back to the school as I continue towards my bus stop. Flashing my bus pass and sitting down in the back. Pulling my back onto my lap and staring out the window.

What can I do good if I'm running from my friend because of some simple crush. It's not like it would be the end of the world if he knew... wait no scratch that. Yes, it would end me. Tanaka can't know I feel this way about him.. he's straight, he has to be.. there's no other way a man could feel like he does for Kiyoko..

I should just tell him and move, change my name and extracurricular, get facial reconstructive surgery... and never see him again...

My eyes water just thinking about it, I couldn't ever make myself leave him just like that. He didn't do anything to me. I'm the problem, he never meant to make me feel this way. We've always just been friends..

'Why would you ever kiss me?'

Friend's... were just friends, sure we've kissed once at a party for a dare but.. that doesn't count.. he never meant anything by it.. he was washing his mouth out after... that's just the truth of my situation. Tanaka is in love with someone else. I never had a chance to begin with.

He wants her, he's begged me to teach him how to properly kiss a girl... he's just comfortable around me... it's platonic... he's said that himself. It was one time and it was platonic.

My brain doesn't even have time to dwell on the situation as the bus stops. Frantically I jump off running up into my room without saying anything as tears are already falling down the sides of my face.

Kiyoko... she's a better fit.

Shes gorgeous..

Kind, when she wants to be..

Tall...

A feminine girl...

She's got all the cards and she knows exactly how to play them.... and I've got.. none of that..

I'm not pretty..

I don't have a soft personality I'm just loud and obnoxious..

She's tall I'm.. I'm barely 5'2"

Everything Tanaka deserves she has..

'I'm not even half as pretty.'

My mind hurts my heart feels like it's on the floor. I don't want to think anymore.. I don't want to feel anything. I just want to be back to normal.. not in love with someone so out of my league. My heartbreak isn't helped by the fact I'm still wearing Tanaka's jacket.. I can't I can't have this... I can't wear this.. not now.. not ever.

Third Person| No One's POV

After a bit of debate Nishinoya steps outside running down the street towards the school with Tanaka's jacket in hand.. though the sight he saw was something he could never unsee. Tanaka taking his school blazer out of his bag and handing it to Kiyoko. She smiled softly, taking it and pulling it over her shoulders.
Of course Enoshita was doing the same thing to Yaichi

The Situation was a misunderstanding.. Daichi had ordered the team to pass around their jackets. It was cold and it would've made sense to keep their managers warm..

However Nishinoya couldn't take it anymore his grip on the others jacket loosened as it fell into the small amount of snow on the ground. He watched on in horror as Tanaka walked away not even noticing how Yaichi and her swapped.

His eyes once again filled with tears as he made a run for it.

'You gave her your sweater.'

The end had come for his courage. Noya couldn't take it anymore the only option was to hightail it out of there before Tanaka noticed. The team would be fine with our him.. he was eventually going to have to leave anyway.. might as well get a head start.

Before he could go anywhere else his phone beeped.

//this was kinda rushed because MY FRIEND WAS BEGGING ME TO CONTINUE :p