Hope - Jasper Hale

Hope - Chapter 7

-7-

As the school day progressed I had this feeling, a terrible feeling. What if I dropped dead? 

I was more of a loner than usual, pushing away Bella and the others. It wasn’t a smart move consider I could die at any moment, but I couldn’t handle to look on Edward and Alice’s faces when I would pass by them as I did for a few of my morning classes. It made me feel terrible, but I didn’t want to feel this way. They almost looked like they pitied me. 

Why? I had no control over what was happening? As much as I tried to fix it, I couldn’t. It was my problem and I wasn’t about to have someone else, like Carlisle, fix something I couldn’t control.

Right after lunch, I had Physics. Regardless of your grade or level, every science class was going on a nature hike this afternoon. I felt like it was childish, elementary, but I didn’t comment. My teacher paired us into groups. I got paired up with a boy named Tyler. He didn’t talk to me, and I didn’t make an effort to speak to him. 

“Now class, remember before we leave: as harmless as the woods can seem, they are dangerous. Stay on the trails at all times and don’t wander from the group. I can’t say much else, since you are supposed to experience nature, but if you really wanted to I guess you could go outside and do it on your free time. I don’t see why they are wasting my class time,” The teacher ranted. 

A few kids rolled their eyes, but more than half of them weren’t paying attention, eager to get out of class.  We exited the school and walked in three lines to the trail that wasn’t too far away from the school. 

“Remember stay on the path and follow your partner.” 

We entered the forest, engulfed by the greenery. I wouldn’t mind dying here, I muse. It is pretty. The way how the sun light that is muted by clouds splashes through the tree branches and leaves to create a baroque scene. By most people these little details would go unnoticed, but I wanted to enjoy this - as stupid as I thought this hike was. 

I could see foot steps on the path from the hikes that occurred earlier this morning. I knew it would rain this evening, and the tracks would be washed away. I inhaled and loved how the nature smelled... so fresh and sweet. 

I nearly choked at this horrible feeling that hit my stomach. I felt hungry. I needed something to satisfy it, but I felt nearly sick at the thought of eating - it had been almost one month. That’s when I snapped, my throat felt like something had been shoved down it. Water! I need water. 

Thump... thump... thump

I looked around -  the sound was so loud why couldn’t anyone else here it? The thumps only got louder and the burning got worse. I don’t know what happened, but I lost control of myself. I don’t remember walking... it was a blur, but I was in front of a lake crouching behind a rock. I watched a deer who had strayed away from the pack. I licked my lips, I didn’t question my actions. I lost control of my reason. Without warning, I tackled the animal and it fought against me, but it soon became still. I didn’t understand why as I looked at the lifeless corpse. My senses were coming back until the thumping sound returned. 

Thump, thump-

“Violet, we aren’t supposed stray from the-” 

I acted before thinking, I nearly flew in the air sending the helpless boy to the ground. He struggled, but soon grew still like the deer. He lost his warmth and the thumping was gone. I stood up, without any distractions this time, my senses returned. I looked at the boy and screamed in terror. I killed Tyler.  

I kneeled in front of the boy’s lifeless body sobbing. What is wrong with me? I killed a boy. I thought I snapped his neck, but as I examined the damage I realized my assault was much more gruesome than that - I drank his blood! 

It’s when I feel a dull fire, that I scream again, but for different reasons. I felt like I was shot or someone set me on fire. Either way I deserved it now. 

Writhing in pain, I felt a hand on my forehead, I opened my eyes to meet the golden orbs of Jasper. I thought it was a hallucination, but he asked, “Who did this?” 

“I killed the boy, I think I’m dying, Jasper,” I whisper.

He looks at me astounded. Why is he not revolted? Why has he not called the police on me and have Charlie take me to an asylum? 

“You won’t die, I can’t let that happen,” He says. Does he want me to suffer? 

“I deserve it, I killed a person...”

“You do not, I can not watch you suffer.”

“Then, leave. I’ll be dead soon enough.” 

“Who did this to you?” He asks. 

“Did what?” 

He presses my wrist to his nose and he inhales, “I can smell it. You have venom in your veins.”

“What are you talking about?” 

I see a look in his eyes that takes him far away from our scene. Once he slowly comes back to reality he whispers, “The accident. You don’t remember them.” 

I scream as the fire is getting worse. 

“It happened months ago, you need more venom,” He says. That is when I catch a look of concern on his face and I hear him exhale slowly. “Violet?” 

“Yeah?” I croak. Maybe I am dead. Maybe in the afterlife nothing makes sense. 

“You will have to trust me, I want to help you,” He says taking a hold of my wrist again. “To help you, I have to hurt you. It won’t last long, I promise, it will help.”

“Are you killing me?” 

I see a sad smile cross his face and as I feel a something pierce my wrist only intensifying the burning, the memories come back to me. 

Being kidnapped at the airport. A similar prick in my wrist as I am experiencing now. Then, the chair... The men in Carlisle’s picture! They did this to me! What are they? What are the Cullens? 

“Violet?” Jasper asks. 

I open my eyes not realizing I had them shut, I feel myself slipping away from consciousness as the pain gets worse, “I remember.”