At Odd's Ends (Bruce Kulick x Eric Carr)

Ch 13: I Don't Understand

Tears streaming down my face, I ran down the sidewalk, heading for the hotel. I ignored the basic pleasantries from the lady behind the front desk as I burst into the stairwell, too upset to even consider waiting for the elevators. I sprinted up too many flights of stairs to count before emerging on my floor. The doors were a blur as I kept running, trying not to completely break down until I made it to my room. Finally, I reached my door and fumbled with the key card until it unlocked with a click. I shoved it open, making it two steps inside before I sank to the floor and started to bawl. 

I drew my knees to my chest, bowing my head, and sobbed my eyes out as I hugged myself tightly. He had told me, straight to my face, that he didn't like me. Not even that he didn't love me or he just wanted to be friends, but that he just didn't like me. There was a sudden knock on my door and I froze, quickly biting down on my knuckles to stop the sound of my tears. "Eric? You there?" Bruce called. I didn't say anything, just sat on my floor and tried not to make any noise. He knocked again. "Eric?" 

There was a pause as I sat in silence before Bruce eventually walked away, allowing me to resume my sobbing. "I don't get what I did!" I cried to myself, rocking back and forth as tears streamed down my face. There was another knock and I froze again, biting even harder on my hand. "Eric open up," Gene said. I shook my head, knowing he couldn't see me, and silently willed him to go away. "I know you're in your room, I heard you crying. Come on man, open up! You're my friend, I want to help you. No one else is here if that makes you feel better." 

Hearing him call me his friend was enough to set me off again and I stumbled to my feet, pulling open the door and just immediately burying my face in his chest. "Oh. There, there man, it's okay," he murmured, patting me on the back and gently pushing me away from the door so it could swing shut behind us. "It's okay, it's okay. What's wrong man, what happened?" "B-Bruce s-said he doesn't like me!" I wailed. 

"You told him you love him?!" he cried. "N-no! I d-didn't even say anything t-to..." I trailed off, unable to get the words out, and he nodded, hugging me. "It's okay. It's okay, it'll be okay. Just let it all out and then we'll talk," he said gently, wrapping me in his strong arms. I clung to him, weeping until my tears slowly faded to hiccups. "Feeling better?" he asked, wiping tears off my face. I shook my head, screwing my eyes shut. "No," I mumbled. He let out a sigh, giving me a hug. "Want to talk about it?" 

"Bruce was...he was being really weird to me all practice and so after I-I asked him if I had done something wrong and he just looked at me and said he didn't like me! He literally looked me in the eyes and said 'I don't like you' like what?! I don't understand what I did! It's n-not even like he said he just wants to be my friend instead of my boyfriend, I d-didn't even tell him I love him! He just said he doesn't like me!" He frowned, giving me a baffled look. "Really? That doesn't sound like Bruce," he mused. "No! It doesn't! But he still said it!" I cried. 

"Are you sure he meant that? Maybe there was a misunderstanding. Did he try and say anything else?" he asked. "I don't know I just ran off b-because I didn't want to cry in front of him," I said quietly. Nodding, he ran a hand through his hair with a slight frown. "Maybe you should talk to him. That really doesn't seem like him at all. You're his best friend man, you've been his best friend since he joined the band. He wouldn't just say that to you, not without some explanation or-or reason," he said. "I don't wanna talk to him," I mumbled, hugging Gene tighter. "I'm g-gonna cry if I do."

"Look, I ran into him in the lobby, he had asked if I had seen you. That's why I decided to come check on you. So he obviously wants to talk to you. Could you at least call him?" "Maybe later," I said under my breath. He put a hand under my chin, lifting my face toward his and giving me a pointed look. "Eric. Don't sit here miserable and wondering what you did wrong. Talk to him and get answers man." "Fine," I muttered. "Look, I'm gonna head out, okay? Paul and I are gonna grab lunch. Seriously, talk to him," he said, giving me a final hug before letting me go. "Fineee. Thanks Gene, enjoy your lunch date!" I teased. 

He rolled his eyes but his face went bright pink. "Shut up. And uh...let me know what Bruce said. If we need to cancel the plan we--" "No! Nah I still want you and Paul to be happy! And yeah I-I mean hopefully Bruce has...a reason," I said, looking at the phone. "I'm sure he does," Gene said quietly, patting me on the shoulder and walking out of my room. The door swung shut with a click behind him and I walked over to the phone, standing in front of it.

Letting out a sigh, I lifted the receiver, feeling tears prick at my eyes again as I dialed his room number. I chewed on my lip and waited for him to answer, drumming my fingers on the tabletop. "Hello?" "Hey. Uh, I'm not trying to be like mean or anything but what the fuck did I do, man?" I asked, immediately being a lot meaner than I meant to. "Eric! Eric no you don't understand, I'm so sorry! You ran off before I could finish, I was going to say that I didn't like you as anything more than my friend. You're my best friend, you're still my best friend," he said. 

I took a step back, clutching the phone, a physical ache spreading through my chest. "Well what prompted you to say that?" I spat after a pause. "Um..." There was a long pause before he kept going. "Um I dunno. Nothing, I guess," he said slowly. I could immediately tell he was lying but I didn't know why or what had actually happened that made him say what he said. "Well maybe phrase it better next time!" I snapped, slamming the phone down and walking over to my bed, flopping face down onto the mattress. "Fuck!" I shouted. 

After lying with my face pressed into the blankets for a few minutes I rose to my feet, calling Gene. It of course went to voicemail since he was out on a lunch date with Paul. I sighed as the automated voice told me to leave a message. "He doesn't love me," I said sadly, setting the phone back and going right back to trying to smother myself in the quilts.