At Odd's Ends (Bruce Kulick x Eric Carr)

Ch 22: Please I'm Sorry

Shivering, I walked down the sidewalk to Bruce's house. He hadn't wanted to talk to me, he still hated my guts and still wouldn't answer the phone or talk to anyone about me, and the stupid voicemail I left him had only made it worse. Gene had told me that I should just wait until Bruce reached out to me but it had been almost three months since we got back from the tour, almost five months since he last talked to me, save for him telling me to go fuck myself, and I couldn't take it anymore. It hurt seeing Paul and Gene obnoxiously happy together, like they had every right to be, but I wanted that in my life, I wanted that with Bruce.

So that meant I had to talk to him, and in order to do that, I had to reach out to him. It was raining, which perfectly suited my mood as I walked up the steps to his house, standing in front of the door before taking a deep breath and ring the doorbell. There was a long pause before the door was pulled open and Bruce stood in the doorway.

"B-Bruce? Can...can we talk?" I whispered, hugging myself tightly as I stood in the rain. He stared at me, face unreadable, before gently closing the door in my face. I bit down on my lip, tears welling up in my eyes, and sank to the ground. I leaned against his door, chest heaving, before dissolving into tears.

I sat on his doorstep in the rain bawling my eyes out for what felt like forever before the front door opened and I accidentally fell flat onto his floor. Heaving a sigh, he bent down and grabbed my hand, gently pulling me to my feet. "Alright, come on. I'm not going to leave you out here like this," he said, speaking to me after almost five months of giving me the cold shoulder.

"W-what?" I asked, tears still streaming down my face. "I mean come inside. You're freezing and soaking wet. I'm not going to leave you outside like this," he said, ushering me inside and giving me a look. "Hm, yeah you really are soaked. Stay there so you don't drip water all over my floor, alright? I'll be back," he said, walking off into his house. Shivering, I stood on the doormat, still hugging myself tightly and trying not to get water everywhere.

He returned a few minutes later, wrapping a towel around me. "Alright, dry off as best you can, then go get changed," he said, setting down the stack of clothes. "You know where the bathroom is." Nodding, I toweled off as best I could, wringing out my hair and trying to dry off before grabbing the clothes and walking into the bathroom. Still shivering, I took off my soaked clothes, draping them over the edge of the bathtub and pulling on the sweats and sweatshirt he had given me, drying off my hair one last time before hanging up the towel and rejoining him in the living room.

"Can I get you anything to eat?" he asked, still being weirdly polite toward me. I shook my head, dropping my gaze to the floor. "Well, let's have a seat and talk then," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder and steering me toward the couch. He sat in a chair across from me, staring at me over steepled fingers. "What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked. "Um...I-I just..." I started, feeling a fresh wave of tears prick my eyes. "I just wanted to apologize for what...for what I did to you. I was so caught up in what I wanted that I didn't even stop for a second to think about how badly it would hurt you. I called myself your best friend and then turned around and made your life miserable for my own selfish gain and I am so, so sorry for that and I-I know that no apology will ever take that away or-or undo everything that happened but I'm just...I'm really sorry," I choked, fighting desperately not to cry.

Bruce nodded slowly, face still completely unreadable. "I see." There was a long silence that I couldn't handle so I just started talking again. "And...and I'm so sorry for being selfish and abusing our friendship I guess and taking advantage of you and I'm not upset that you're mad at me, I-I'd be mad at me too and nothing like it will ever happen again b-but of course I-I mean I know we're not really friends anymore and I can't blame you for that," I stammered.

He nodded again, still staring at me. There was a long pause before he let out a sigh, rising to his feet and walking over to me. "Did you really, in all honesty, believe that I would want to date you after you split apart me and my boyfriend?" he asked. I took a shuddery breath. "Honestly...y-yeah. I didn't...I didn't really think...it through," I said slowly. Rolling his eyes, he slipped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his side. "Dumbass."

I froze, unwilling to lean too much against him for fear of upsetting him again or something. "Next time Eric, just talk to me. Like honestly, please just talk to me. All you had to do was be up front and honest with me instead of trying to...I don't even know what you were trying to do." "I-I know but I was just...I was scared that if I told you it would ruin things! I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all if I can't have you as a boyfriend! Even though...I ended up ruining the friendship anyway."

He nodded, playing with my hair. "Yeahh, I get that. That's why I didn't tell you at first. That I loved you and stuff. Once I figured it out, of course," he mused. "R-right," I said quietly, completely lost as to what he was trying to get at. "Mhm. It works out well though, that Gene and Paul are so in love with each other. I'm glad Paul's happy. It was nice dating him but we were starting to fizzle out even without your...help. Which means if you had just waited a few more months you'd have been fine. But I know Paul has told you and Gene that." 

"Yeah. He uh...he has," I said slowly, still completely confused as to how he felt about me or exactly what he was trying to do. "Right. Geez man, the hell's wrong with you, huh? You're like not leaning against me at all, I thought you'd be excited to," he said, giving me a look. Face burning, I looked at the floor. "Well I don't wanna make you uncomfortable," I mumbled. "Aw, Eric. I'm sorry for how I treated you. Yeah you were kinda wrong to do what you did but you didn't deserve five months of that," he murmured, gently turning my face toward his. I opened my mouth to reply but he cut me off by kissing me. 

I froze, eyes widening, before just melting into his arms, returning the kiss until at last we broke apart. "I really do love you, I'm sorry it took me five months to forgive you. That's on me for being selfish," he said with a fond smile. My heart melted into a puddle and I tried not to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!" I wailed. "Bruce I'm really sorry for hurting you, I didn't mean to!" "Hey Eric come on, it's okay. It's okay," he said softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I get why you did. I know what it feels like to be so desperately in love with someone you want to do anything to be with them. That's how I felt when I first fell in love with Paul, and that's...how I started to feel about you."

I gave him a smile, finally resting my head against his chest. "Well that's how I've felt about you for a long time," I said. "Are we friends again?" "Friends?! Eric I just kissed you! I was kind of hoping to be your boyfriend!" he cried. "Oh! W-well I mean...I just...I dunno!" I stammered. He burst into laughter, wrapping his arms around me and giving me a squeeze. "Gosh I love you so much," he murmured, kissing me again. I smiled, closing my eyes and leaning against him, content to finally be held in his arms.