Letters to J

1. First time

Dear J,

You probably can't remember the first time you caught my attention, it might be an unimportant event to you so I do understand, and even I can't clearly remember it. In that Grade 12 classroom, I don't know if the classes are already finished or we just don't have teacher but since lm using my laptop, it's highly possible that it's the former.

Kasama ang mga kaibigan ko na kaibigan mo din, nakikipaglaro ka sa isa sa kanila , but that friend of mine suddenly felt of like she's losing ,thus, jokingly asked for my help saying " _____, oh , ayaw ibalik ni J yung sapatos ko".

At that exact moment, l felt my body stiff from typing. Therefore, I stand up to stretch, just to see you ready to give back the shoes of my friend that you've hidden. You really got my eyes that time because l'm barely five foot and you're a big guy almost six feet, how come you are so intimidated?

May sinabi ba yung mga kaibigan ko na masama tungkol sakin? Which l doubt. My friends are not the type of talk behind my back, so lm wondering, what are you scared of? Hindi ako nangangagat, you know?

Also, that day l somehow question myself , how scary am l in the eyes of boys, because to tell you the truth, you are definitely not the only one who acted like that, how you acted was totally the normal action . But for the first time, l genuinely got concerned about your reaction, na dati wala naman talaga akong paki-alam.

Usually , l really don't care about how other see me, but that time , I got curious as to why am l so affected by yours. I wonder, how do you see me as? Because I swear, it is not as extreme of your first impression or whatever you're imagining.