I Found Love, In You- (Jemily) [M]

I Can't Stop

A/N- Most of this story will be the narrators point of view and I will put when it's a characters POV. Trigger warnings will be at the start of necessary chapters. I hope you enjoy this is my first fan fic and hopefully not the last and I will look at every comment i receive.

TW- attempted suicide, self-harm and the start of a alcoholism is mentioned. ⚠️

Emily begrudgingly awakes to the blaring noise of her alarm clock flashing at 6:00am. "Ugh not today" she states half-asleep. She has a hangover from girls night with Penelope and JJ. However, the hangover isn't bothering her as much as she seems to be drinking a lot lately but it doesn't phase her. The job is hard enough so she needs a drink here and then she keeps telling herself, but Jj has noticed she has been drinking more than usual lately.

She walks to the bathroom to have her regular early-morning shower but her arm starts to sting. The raised lines up and down her left arm are still red and if she's being honest, spending her time with JJ made her forget all about it.

JJ has helped her through a lot but Emily didn't want to burden her with this and she didn't want to appear as weak, even to JJ.

She's been cutting for quite some time now and if she's not cutting, she's drinking away her problems, they seem to be the only two things keeping Emily from ending it all. That and the thought of not being able to tell JJ how she feels about her.

The feeing of the razor blade on her skin gives her some sort of release, it relaxes her, it feels like a weight is being lifted off of her shoulders and for a few seconds everything feels peaceful for her.

After getting herself sorted, Emily gets in her SUV and drives to the BAU. Her and JJ make it there at the same time and decide to walk in together. Emily notices that something is different about JJ today.

"Are you okay? You seem very giddy" Emily asks thinking she may know the answer but hopes she doesn't.

"Yeah, I have got a date tonight with that detective Will from New Orleans" she says with a big grin. "Oh yeah" Emily replies, her mood then plummets.
Emily has had a huge crush on JJ since she first laid eyes on the blonde-haired, blue-eyed Agent, who was a Communications Liaison back then and is now a badass profiler.

She always thought JJ felt a similar way but hearing this made her realise that she is way in over her head.

Emily went straight for coffee when she got to the floor of the BAU and then sat at her desk to do all of her paperwork for the day, they didn't have a case so she knew her day was going to go really slow.

She grabbed lunch with Garcia and when they got back JJ was in her old office with Will, she seemed to genuinely like him and it pained Emily to see that. She wished it was her that JJ loved.

The door was open so Emily stopped by with a coffee for JJ and they both smiled at each other and she gave an uncomfortable grin to Will. She never liked him, neither did Garcia.

After work, JJ gets ready for her date with Will and meets him at a fancy Italian restaurant recommended by the one and only David Rossi.

When she arrives however, Will was already visibly intoxicated, he'd had a bottle of whiskey to himself. JJ didn't know how as she was only 5 minutes late.
"Uhh, hey Will?" She says with an uncomfortable tone in her voice. "Look everybody, it's the world class dyke" Will said slurring his words. "Excuse me... who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" JJ said getting angrier with each word. "Well I always see you with her....."

"Her?" JJ asked knowing he was going to say Emily.
"The dark-haired Agent Prentiss, I see the way you look at her and the way she looks at you, why didn't you tell me you were a secret dyke" he said barely even getting each word out without having the urge to throw up.

"We're done here" JJ said whilst attempting to walk away when Will abruptly grabbed her wrist almost pulling her over. "No, we are not, I'm going to make you regret this Jennifer Jareau and you'll never look at her the same way again" Will said shouting at her now and with each word she saw the restaurant security inch closer in case he got violent. She escaped his grasp and left the restaurant in tears. She phoned Garcia to tell her what had happened and told her she was going to go to Emily's as she was close. This was the moment she decided she was going to tell Emily how she felt about her.

Emily's apartment was only a five minute walk from the restaurant so JJ decided to rush over there because she needed to tell Emily she loved her. She got to the door and knocked but there was no answer so she rang her and could hear it ringing but there was still no answer from Emily so she used her spare key.

What she saw when she entered shook her to her core.

"Emily, Emily oh my god what have you done?" JJ said her words shaking. "I need an ambulance at 2231 Cherry Lane apartment 14 m-my friend has tried to k-kill herself." JJ said clutching Emily's nearly lifeless body, covered in her blood crying.

A/N - I hope you like my first chapter, I know it's quite short but they are about to get a lot more interesting.