i dare you

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mom : hey that band you like is on tv

me : *bashes through door*

me : *trips down stairs*

me : *slips on floor*

me : *runs into wall*

me : *army rolls through kitchen*

me : *skids around corner*

me: *dives onto couch*

me: talk or i will fucking slaughter each of your throats and feed your uteruses to the fish.

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