One Wish

CHAPTER 16

  When I see MC get inside I just feel like I'm going to jump. I'm so happy. I don't think I've been so happy in my entire life. I wasn't this happy even when I saw Saeran after a long time again. I just run to the bus stop to get home. I don't know what difference being in my room does, but right now I just... just... I get on the bus and sit down. What am I doing? I'm happy? I don't deserve happiness like this. I lean back in the chair and put my hands on my face. What the hell... I decide to text Saeran.

RFA Chatroom

Private Message To: Saeran

707 Joined The Chatroom

707

hey

tell Rika I'm on my way to home

Saeran Joined The Chatroom

Saeran

k

She was pretty worried

How did the date go?

707

I'll tell you when I get home ^^

Saeran

Looks like it went well

Glad you're happy

*Ray's laughing emoji*

See you soon then

707

yup see ya

Haah... You know I'm not happy. After a long bus ride I'm finally home. When I get in, Saeran is waiting for me on the corridor bench. "You waited for me to come back?" "Yeah, I couldn't sleep." "Aww, that's so sweet~~" He stares at me with his bright blue eyes. Blue eyes... As always he wanted to read my emotion. We just stare at each other for a minute. He then sighs and gets up. "Well, come on and tell me, how was it?" He says it really kindly. He's in his "Kind State" as he calls it. "The date?" "Mhm. I feel like it went well. You seem happier." "Heh, do I...?" He nods. We went to my room, because V and Rika were still awake. My room is the only place I would get privacy.

As always Saeran sits on my bed and I sit on my computer chair. My room is really small so that it almost feels like you're sitting in a closet. Two people barely fit there together. "Hehe, I had a lot of fun today. I haven't felt this happy in a long time. Like genuinely happy. Even though I failed to confess to her I still had fun..." I look at Saeran. I can't really read his emotion right now. "... That's what I'd like to say. I was still sad the whole day. MC is such an amazing person. She's always so happy and makes everybody around her happy." I then curl into a ball. "I don't deserve her one pit. I don't even deserve to look at her. Even thinking about her is too much to ask." I take off my glasses and hide my face to my knees while hugging my legs. It usually means that I'm about to cry and today is not an exception.

There is nothing for me out there. I have done so many awful things. She said that everybody deserves something, but she clearly doesn't know anything about me. I don't deserve those pretty words. While these thoughts are occupying my mind I start to cry. I haven't felt this sad for a long time. Actually, I don't think I've ever felt so sad before. Saeran then stands up from my bed and hugs me. He always does that. It always calms me down a pit. He then quietly says to me. "Please don't think like that, okay? Our life is so complicated that at some point we will stumble upon something good. Something that will help us get over this. I've seen what MC is like. She has her own stories to tell as well, but I feel like she will be able to help you get over this guilt." "I know. She told me what her life was like before she came here." "Well, there you go. She'll be able to help you with this." "But I don't deserve her. She's too good for me." "Well, who do you think deserves her?" I think about it for a minute. "Nobody really..." We both sigh at that.

"It's late. We should go to bed." Saeran pats on my back and let's go of me. Before he leaves the room he asks me to not be at the computer for so long. He then closes the door. I sit on my chair for a while, trying to just not think of anything. The problem is... I just can't. Whenever I feel like I've gotten to the point I'm not thinking anymore, I remember MC laughter. Only I saw that laughter, nobody else. I feel so greedy. I'll get even more greedy if I think like that.

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