Forever The Good Girl

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty One

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I woke up, totally aware of where I was. Usually, I'd be disoriented, or forgetful. But I knew exactly where I was and who I was with. I kept my eyes shut.

I was going to break up with Eli, anyways. It doesn't bother me that he has another girl in his life. Or that she's eating the food that I brought especially for him. Or that he kissed me. Or that he fucking tried to lie to me about her, after I saw them. Doesn't bother me at all.

 "It will be fine," the girl said. Her voice was gentle, but I couldn't quite bring myself to admit that she sounded nice.

"She thinks that we're-"

"Just tell her the truth, Eli."

"I should have just told her about you from the beginning."

"You didn't know if you could trust her. You keep insisting you can now but-"

"I can trust her," Eli said with confidence. I tried my hardest not to smile when he said that. But I felt my whole body warm. For a second I forgot about the girl, and I just wanted to hug Eli.

But then she spoke, reminding me that Eli had cheated on me. But... why was she still here? Did  Eli tell her about us? Did he lie to her? Maybe she didn't know that he had kissed me. That he had promised to be there for me.. I stopped myself before tears could gather.

"Poor girl, she must have been really tired to just faint like that."

"She struggles a lot, Amber."

"I know that. I saw those fresh cuts on her stomach just as well as you-"

"Sh!" Eli shushed her and I flinched. So... they saw them. Eli knew. A girl I didn't even know, knew. They knew I was broken, pathetic. That I wasn't strong enough. Eli had seen my old scars before... but they weren't nearly as bad. And not nearly as new. "Don't bring that up." He said.

I knew he was ashamed, probably embarrassed and I could feel disappointment building inside me. The cuts had only helped me for a few seconds each. Now the scars could last weeks. Some of the deeper ones might not go away. Everyone would know I'm worthless.

"I'm sorry," said 'Amber'. "She's really pretty, though. I can see why you like her."

"Yeah," I could hear the smile in his voice.

I became very confused. Wasn't Amber jealous? Or angry? I was. My heart was still breaking. Jealousy, anger, disappointment, rejection, betrayal - those things are hard to get over. And did she say he liked me? Was that the truth?

"Her scars are a rough topic for her, Amber. I mean, we both have some baggage ourselves." It was the way he had said 'we' that caught my attention. Like they were... something other then a couple.

I opened my eyes and sat up. At that moment, Eli turned to me. his eyes weary, as if he thought I might not give him a chance to explain. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I had no idea how to answer. If he meant physically, then I was dead tired, with raw, shameful cuts all over my stomach. And emotionally I was exhausted, confused, hurt, hopeful, and on the verge of depression. Whether I was okay or not depended on his answer to my next question.

"I'm - not sure." I looked at Amber. "Hi."

"Hi." She attempted a smile, cautious, as if I might attack her. Although I was obviously no match, in my state.

"Who's this?" I asked Eli, with no accusation in my voice. I disguised the hurt very well, too.

"I'm Amber," the girl said. I glanced at her, making it clear I wasn't asking her.