ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ [ʜᴀʏʟᴏʀ]

T. H. I. R. T. Y. F. I. V. E.

'' What?!'' Niall reacted first. I looked at him and furrow my brows. '' let's go out from here and try to experience a change'' I shrug. '' I-'' Harry cuts him off. '' when there is no trouble for her we can all go out. I don't wanna stay here either, everything reminds of her'' Harry grits his teeth. Louis and Liam nodded.

'' I guess we all deserve a fine break'' Louis said. I nodded. '' Louis is right. you go to the company each night come back before sun comes what's fucking wrong with you?'' Liam asked Niall who is as red as a tomato.

'' Everything is wrong, everything is'' He yelled. I jumped with his actions.

'' she fucking killed my wife and till now I was nurturing her and even though I didn't like her I allowed her to walk in. I promised Ashe that I will kill the person who killed her and now I let her go. Knowing she hugged me and she walked next to me making me go crazy like no other. This all started with you, Harry. you fucking let her in. when we hit the bar you don't have to sleep with every woman and fuck her off. can't you just consist of yourself? you fucking so desperate to sleep with her that night and see where we are now. it's all fucking started with you fucking idiot'' Niall yells at Harry. Harry wides his eyes and clenches his jaw.

'' you think you're the only one who lost? What about my sister? don't act like a loser and don't pass on the blame. it never will be a fucking solution. you just walked with her, I fucking engaged and see now? did I blame you? did I blame you that you didn't see this coming? when I didn't you fucking shut your mouth and stop blaming me'' Harry yells in the same tone. Niall stood up and so did Harry. they shared a couple of head ripping glares.

'' look, Ashe means a lot to me too I cared for her too and I cried enough for them-'' harry pauses and takes a breath again. I feel his eyes getting glossy. '' I died inside when I'm looking alive up here. I blamed myself for more than the times I spent with them.'' his voice gets shaky. Niall looks at him with a frown and sadness washed his face before he could take the words back.

'' I never wanted to live again after they all left me. I wish I was dead and I wish the same too. I wish someone kill me every night I cry to find peace, I feel like ripping my head off and die just there wishing the blame would go but will it? it's a stain on me on my heart. You never saw her death and I'm not telling you should have I saw my sister Emma dying in front of me..... crying for life so she could save her child and.. she saved me from dying. she was killed by that woman. that filthy woman held my head to kill me but Emma saved me which is still a blur. her last words keep ringing and her death is still in front of me. The smile I have is hers I wish I could I wished I was dead. Now the life of mine isn't mine. The smile of mine isn't mine. My body of mine isn't mine. I'm worthless for doing nothing but getting drunk and sleeping around. Do you think I was happy when I was with her? I never was. she took advantage of my vulnerability and made me a stone and now all of sudden I couldn't breathe because she controlled my life enough to take me back to where Emma cried. I-'' his tears run down and so did mine too. Niall had tears in his eyes which include guilt.