Memory in a Bottle

Delilah

It all started with a stranger. Every little thing reminds me of him. People are forced with the facts that I changed. Not the good kind of change. The kind where you feel like you are at the bottom of the river, drowning, no way back up. You just feel like giving up, and not try anymore. I guess that's where I am at right now. People try to tell me that I will get better but how do they know I am drowning, and I am releasing my last breath? I'm walking in the ocean with my flower dress waving in the wind along with my hair. I start to walk forward not afraid of death, not afraid of anything. Suddenly, I feel my arm getting tugged back.

"What the hell are you doing?!?" a voice shouted over the waves. Tears were rolling down my face.

"Just let me go, Jace!" I shouted back. Why did he have to stop me? Why did he have to make this a lot harder than it was?

"No! Lilah, please don't do this! I love you! I don't want to lose you!" his voice cracked on the last part. No! He can't love me! He can't!

"No, you don't. You don't love me. We're friends." I speak.

"You may think that but-" All of a sudden, a wave crashed in and threw me towards the ocean.

"JACE!" I scream. I look around for him. "JACE!"

"DELILAH!" He shouts back. I turn around and there he is on the beach looking for a way to get to me.

"JACE HELP!" I shouted. Then another wave came crashing down on me. That time I didn't take a breath before the wave hit me. My vision started to blacken. Then suddenly, my head hit something hard and I blacked out. I was semi-conscious when I felt an arm around my waist dragging me forward. Then I fell back under consciousness.

The next time I awoke was when I was in the ambulance. The medics were putting IV's in my arms and there was one medic who was at my head with an oxygen mask and helping me breathe.

"It's okay hon," One of the nurses said.

"This won't hurt a bit." The other nurse said. She put something in my IV. "This should help your pain, but it will also make you very sleepy." As she said that I felt my eyelids getting heavy. I was trying to fight it. Trying to fight sleep but after a little bit, or at least it seemed like it to me, my body gave up and I fell asleep.

Years ago, I wouldn't have been like this. I was so happy, until a stranger came up and kidnapped me. I was missing for three years and all those years I was getting raped, nonstop. Then he would beat me to oblivion and tell me to shut up and stop screaming. I struggle with depression for the past two years. Sometimes I would go to the ocean and sit there on the sand crying and wishing that I could get some guts and walk in the ocean and let it sweep me off my feet and kill me. I guess that's what I did today, but I failed. Jace came and stopped me. Today I tried to kill myself because that stranger got parole. He didn't go to jail. He's staying out, I am so scared that I tried to kill myself. I was scared that he was going to come and find me.... or WORSE! All I want to do is just die! He'll find me!

The next time I woke up I was in a hospital robe and I had a nose tube. I was looking around trying to get my bearings. My head was pounding, so I put my hand up to my head and felt a wrap around my head. I looked at the rest of my body. I have a cast on my ankle, my wrist and around my stomach. I guess I probably broke my ankle, wrist, and a few ribs. I heard talking in the hall outside my door and I realized that I knew that voice. His voice sounds like sweet honey. He walks in with coffee and something in a white sandwich bag. He has dark circles under his eyes. It looks like he hasn't slept in a week. He looks up and smiles.

"Hey," He says.

"Hey," I reply as my voice sounds harsh.

"Hey." He says back.