SMASH GAMES 2: CHAOS | Super Smash Bros.

15 - The Report and the Recovery

The Facility 

There was a lot of commotion coming from down the hall. When Gold ROB turned the corner, he saw a conglomeration of G1s clustered around a large TV screen. They were watching the instant replay of the most recent Event, or major activities in the Games. This one was of two of the Hunters, Little Mac and Palutena, getting thrust into the Pit. The video played several times on a loop, and the ROBs clapped each time the two players fell into the depths of the abyss. 

Slackers. 

"All right, that's enough!" Gold ROB said crossly as he rolled into the crowd. He began bonking mechanical heads with his clipboard. "Get moving, you minxes! You've got jobs to do! Don't make me report you to the boss!" 

That got them moving-they scurried off in various directions. Gold ROB shook his head in irritation. Sometimes he wished that the developers hadn't programmed the G1s with a 17% cerebral capacity for free will. It would save his work area a lot of trouble. 

Now, where was I? Oh yes! A new action report for the boss. Gold ROB scooted along, navigating the Facilities halls. Several times he passed a window, showing Subspace spinning serenely on its magnetic pole below them. They were pretty close to the surface, enough that Gold ROB could clearly see the ribs of the mountains on the planet's sole continent. Subspace's gravitational field was considerably weaker than Earth's, enough that the space station had to hover pretty close to the service to keep from flying off into space. 

Gold ROB reached the Control Hub. Since the Games had begun, a holographic image of the surface of Subspace had appeared on the central dashboard, with dots of varying colors depicting exactly where each Prey and Hunter were at any given time. Well, any given time give or take a few minutes. Some of the G1s were trying to fix the radar-it kept glitching up. 

Gold ROB moved straight into the office at the Hub's rear. Someone different sat behind the desk today, a hulking, coal-skinned man with clashing red hair adorned with ornate, glittering hair pieces. He wore black armor and carried a white sword in a sheath at his hip. His face was ash-gray and had lips pulled down into a permanent frown.  

"Evening, Ganondorf," Gold ROB said cheerfully. 

"What is it, automaton?" the man growled. He was sharpening a knife against a cheese grater, legs crossed. No doubt he was getting a little bored, sitting around and guarding the boss's office.  

"I said, what is it?" Ganondorf snapped. 

"Oh, er, yes...I have an action report from the boss." 

Ganondorf pointed over the stack of confidentiality forms. Half an hour later, when Gold ROB finished signing his name, Ganondorf jabbed the secret button with his knife and waved Gold ROB through as the passage opened up. 

The office was dark, as usual, and Gold ROB left his night vision off, as usual.  

"Larry," the boss said as he puttered up to the desk. "Nice to see you. What've ya got there?"  

Gold ROB offered him the clipboard. "Action report," he said. "As requested every half a week." 

"Uh-huh," the boss said as he pulled the clipboard forward. He tossed it back a second later. "So, since I've got better things to do than read that thing, why don't ya sum it up for me, Larry?" 

"As you wish," Gold ROB said, picking up the clipboard. "Well, the report basically states that the first few days have been a bit of a disappointment." 

"A disappointment how, Larry?" 

"Well, sir...no trophies have reported in to the Hall of Fame at the Barracks."